Let's play: Buzz Aldrin's Race Into Space

[FaxModem1]

Fax Modem looked at the landscape view that was now available to him. It would be spectacular, if not for the mile high column of smoke in front of him. It was amazing, the fact that the huge earthquake style aftershock had destroyed the wall his cot was on was not appreciated. He had thoughts about making an escape attempt, but considering that Drago was also locked up somewhere, and that he was on the third floor, it didn't seem like a good idea. On the ground, he noticed several police and escaping prisoners fighting.

He leaned back against one of the remaining walls of his cell. Yep, his life had ended up in the right place.

----

Rex Modem watched as the FBI made a crime scene around the dead squirrel's body. He didn't understand what was going on. It was as if the dead squirrel was important somehow.

Dick Fisher was there, Rex didn't know what the man was talking about, but he did overhear something.

"Yes Mr. Big, I think Agent Squirrel is down, Agent Moose is on his own now."

[PeZook]

A certain Ninja wanted to see CIA and KGB reports.

So...

The massively sophisticated and technologically advanced espionage effort has brutally penetrated the soft and vulnerable backside of the Zenobian Onion, using Murcan ingenuity and inventor's spirit to deliver this incredibly accurate information:



We certainly didn't make it up based on random remarks overheard at the Baris Air Show! Not at all! Nobody pocketed the money spent on espionage!

---------------------------------------------------

The glorious people's agents of the NKVDVDROM, thanks to their dedication to the ideals of Marxism-Lennonism and the Party, have uncovered a most dreary secret, held close by the top MASA leadership!



The fact this information does not appear in any MASA materials available to the general public is only further proof of the mission's existence, for it is so secret we only found out about it due to copious seductions and blackmail of the most brutal order! The vile capitalist scum are preparing to deal us a STUNNING PROPAGANDISTIC BLOW! Action must be taken to prevent it!

[Scottish Ninja]

I knew those shifty Murcans were up to something!

Now if only that Lapot information was true too... I don't know how they get 87% reliability from sketches on the backs of cocktail napkins. Probably a couple of squiggles that looked like numbers and they ran with it.

[PeZook]

The waiter converted into a CIA agent was serving lunch to Zenobian delegates at the air show, and he overheard the following statement:

"Of course it will always survive re-entry! We have assumed it's a solid mass of heat shield material!"

After passing through the agent's handler, the head of the missions, the analyst in Washingtoff to MASA's director, it read:

"Zenobian engineers are convinced their new spacecraft will be completely reliable during re-entry."

[Simon_Jester]

We'll get there, comrade. We'll get there yet... though I think from the numbers that I can't really afford to start Lapot development until 1967, not without putting everything else on hold.

But my setting this up is sort of irrelevant. As a matter of course, PeZook, I can drop the "De-Po Man" thing as noncanon if you like- and/or write Syrgy off, switch to deputy Comrade Tankski and see if I can spin out tank/tractor jokes for ten-plus seasons.

Nah, it's amusing and clever, so it can stay

Hell, it is a different planet, so who says Pavylyvych has be as fucked up as Korolev was?

Maybe all he needed was a kidney transplant! Those are... relatively simple.

[Simon_Jester]

Spoiler

SHITS! I forgot!

REVISED Plan Pavylyvych/Dubolomov, Fall 1965

Greetings to the people of the glorious Baikonurek Tank Factory Tractor Factory Cosmodrome! I am, again, Ignaty* Dubolomov, new Director of Operations. Due to an unfortunate oversight in filing of plans for next year's operations, the previous general circular was missing critical instructions integral to the 1966 plan. These are now present in the revised version.

Despite a week's notice, production of armor plate remains unsatisfactory. All workers determined to be responsible will suffer an additional reduction of vodka ration by 15%, over and above that declared by the commissar. The Ministry of Defense has promised additional specialists to help us with the issue of providing armor plate in satisfactory quantity and quality.

---

Budget: 37 megarubleoids

Hardware Procurement
3 MB to buy one Cosmos Satellite
12 MB to buy one Proton Rocket

Research and Development
3 MB on 1 team Cosmos Satellite research
16 MB on 4 teams Proton Rocket research

Remaining budget: 3 megarubleoids, held in reserve for next year

SCHEDULE MISSIONS
Schedule two unmanned Voskhod docking tests for Spring 1966.

Mission Go/No-Go Status

IF Proton booster reliability ≥ 75% at the end of the season, then we are GO for lunar flyby.
IF Proton booster reliability < 75% at the end of the season, then we are NO GO for lunar flyby. Scrub launch and hold hardware in reserve.

We are GO for Venus flyby, barring major disasters reducing booster reliability to 50% or so, or a significant drop in Cosmos reliability, neither of which is plausible for unmanned missions.

Author's note: Based on my assessment of the odds, the payoff for success is higher relative to the penalty for failure, making a higher technical risk acceptable.

[Eternal_Freedom]

Ah crap, I need to stop taking unplanned breaks. First time, ohJesus died. Second time, Johnson died. third time, the fuel depot exploderises! Bollocks.

Anyhoo, I'll work up a plan in the morning, I've got some time between RL matters. Just thought I'd post this here so you guys don't forget that I'm still a vital and important and entertaining part of this LP

---------------------------------------

Ed looked up from the roster sheet, noticing for the first time that one of the generic names looked familiar. It couldn't possibly be his old friend from the Anglian RAF could it? WingCo Moderately Fast, John May? Impossible!

Either way, it'll be good to see the old boy again!

[LaCroix]

Ah crap, I need to stop taking unplanned breaks. First time, ohJesus died. Second time, Johnson died. third time, the fuel depot exploderises! Bollocks.

Hush, comrade. You might blow your cover...

[That_Guy]

If its Ok with you guys i would like to join up as an astronaut for Merca. However i wish to make him an Anglian Liason from Scotland, as a result im wondering what name the Scotts would go by in the Merca/Zenobia universe?

[PeZook]

Just make up something amusing

Consider it your...*dramatic music*

Joining rite!

*lightning crackles and hits a rocket lifting off in the background*

[Dave]

"We need new Joining Rites? Man, this is going to be a BLAST!"

<question, indeterminate>

"Oh, the new guy? No, he won't like it at ALL."

[PeZook]

Oh man...Pete Conrad

[Simon_Jester]

I heard once, that on being asked about the Mercury 13 program, Conrad said something like "Sure, we'll have women in space one day... and we'll use them for the same things we use them for on Earth."

Now I have an image of Comrade Svetmaya Surnameova doing a parachute jump into Murcan airspace to punch him.

[Dave]

Comrade Svetmaya Surnameova doing a parachute jump into Murcan airspace to punch him.

YES.

You know, I was in a fraternity for four years... Want me to make something up? There's even a picture of Pete Conrad in his underwear...

[fnord]

If its Ok with you guys i would like to join up as an astronaut for Merca. However i wish to make him an Anglian Liason from Scotland, as a result im wondering what name the Scotts would go by in the Merca/Zenobia universe?

In keeping with the stereotype-friendly nature of this thread, maybe the haggis wallopers from MacCaledonia/Haggistan?

As for names, how about one of the following (shamelessly knocked off from the Goon Show):

Avery Tom Deacon-Harry
William John MacGoonigal
Jim Spriggs
Ned Seagoon (okay, he was Welsh...)
Hairy McLegs
Chisholm MacChisholm

[That_Guy]

Royal Anglian Air force Wing Comander John May, reporting for duty director!
May Sniffed the air, the smell of cheap Murcan whiskey irritated the tough Haggistanian. Seems somebody has had a wee bit o the drink here! He muttered. Von Braun's response was to raise an eyebrow and wave him to the door, if you don't approve of my drinking then leave! He snapped. Och, I dinnae oppose it sir, but if you will drink whiskey make it some proper whiskey, not that gnat's piss! With that, the burly Hagistanian hoisted his suspiciously large duffel bag over his shoulder and marched out of the office to find his new diggs.

[ChaserGrey]

Mister Grey sat at his desk, leafing through a thick file with one hand and holding up a phone receiver in the other. He looked longingly at the cup of coffee next to the file, but didn't dare put down the phone to get a shot of caffeine. His caller was too likely to notice.

"Yes, Senator. Yes, I agree. Most disturbing." Grey turned a page in the CIA file, staring again at the photos that had started all this mess. Personally he thought what they showed was probably either a trick, a joke, or some kid from Stasbushingrad's science project, but that's not what the CIA said. According to them, it was the Commienists' next big trick in space.



"Yes. Yes sir. Yes sir, I agree. No sir, of course not. I don't think we can allow a, um, what was that phrase you used, ah yes, a mini-shuttle gap to develop with the Zenobians. Yes, totally unacceptable, threat to freedom everywhere, couldn't have said it better myself. Of course we're working on it, our Mister Sam Francisco has been working on concepts even now.

"Yes, of course, Senator, but implementing it will probably require an increased MASA bud- excuse me, sir, but that's hardly fair. The mistakes of Mercury Sixteen aren't relevant to an entirely new devel- no. No Senator, I'm not making excuses. Yes. Of course. Murca fuckyeah to you too, Sir."

Grey let the receiver back into its cradle and sighed deeply, staring at his coffee cup. After a moment, he reached over and took out a silver flask from one desk drawer, pouring a slug of clear liquid into the coffee before keying his intercom.

"Mary? Can you ask Sam Francisco to come see me at his earliest convenience? Tell him to bring those drawings from his wild idea file. Our lords and masters in the Capitol have new marching orders for us."

Grey took a long drink, then closed his eyes as he rocked back in his chair. And to think he'd thought going back to running Mission Planning and Analysis Division would be simple.
Spoiler

Thought I'd riff off that CIA report and explain how the Murcan spaceplane program got its start.

Edit: Found better images.

[Simon_Jester]

What images?

[ChaserGrey]

http://www.astronautix.com/graphics/b/bor4p32.jpg and http://www.astronautix.com/graphics/b/bor4p31.jpg
They're showing up fine for me...

[Simon_Jester]

Not for me. Can you transfer them to Photobucket or something?

[ChaserGrey]

How about this:

[Dave]

Ok, those images I can see.

[Shroom Man 777]

Woah. Where are those from?

[ChaserGrey]

In real life? Late 1970s to early 1980s. The Soviets had a program for a reusable spaceplane launched on an expendable booster, called "Spiral" but nicknamed- you guessed it- "Lapot". It was planned for a variety of military roles at various times- orbital photo and radar reconnaissance, nuclear strike against U.S. carrier groups, and shooting down capitalist satellites.

Eventually, the program was canceled in favor of Buran, the Soviet Shuttle. Before that happened, though, the Soviets did some sub-orbital tests using scale models to see how the proposed shape of the vehicle handled a reentry. Long story short, one of the flights happened to land close to an Australian P-3 patrol plane in the Indian Ocean, and they took the shots you see here.

There was also a jet-powered vehicle intended to test glide characteristics and serve as a landing trainer. Note the landing gear, which folds down from over the wings to maintain the integrity of the heat shield.

[Shroom Man 777]

Oh, I know about the Spiral. I just didn't know that they actually recovered some from the sea.