Let's play: SCRAMming up!

[Scottish Ninja]

INVESTIGATE the GANGS. FIND OUT if they have CONTACTS we might be able to ACCESS in the LARGE TELCOS.

[PeZook]

February 23rd 2025
Sunday

ROUND 7

Okhotsk International Airport
Libertarian Russia

You are now: PHANT, REPAIR GUY, COMBAT JANITOR, SMARMY AMERICAN SAILOR, QUIET HISTORIAN, MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST and RI'ANN SHAPP.

You are at a VIP HANGAR. The HANGAR is SOMEWHAT NICE. It is rather RUN DOWN but probably BETTER than the RUINED SHACKS that are the STANDARD HANGARS. It has a FENCE and ELECTRONIC LOCKS. It is NOON. It isn't any WARMER.

There is a MINOR CRISIS. The MINOR CRISIS is about a GUY calling on one of your CELL PHONES. The GUY sounds very OLD and is PROBABLY the OLD SOVIET HEAT SHIELD ENGINEER that IVAN promised you.

REPAIR GUY has a PLAN involving MONEY but since you are in a HANGAR by YOURSELVES, there is LITTLE EFFECT. MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST thus DECIDES to run OUT and FIND an AIRPORT EMPLOYEE.

He FINDS the OLD SCAVENGING HOBO who SOLD you some VERY OLD SEATS just a few MOMENTS ago.



Despite being quite WARY, MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST GIVES the PHONE to HIM.

THE OLD SCAVENGING HOBO hold a LONG and DETAILED conversation with the OLD SOVIET HEAT SHIELD ENGINEER. He HANDS the PHONE back to MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST.

OLD SCAVENGING HOBO begins to SPEAK in PERFECT ENGLISH

OLD SCAVENGING HOBO Says: He wanted to know if you are at the airport or not, and which hangar. Also that somebody pick him up when he leaves the airplane, he'll be here tomorrow at 7.30 P.M. Got any more vodka?

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST is SOMEWHAT IMPRESSED.

Inside the HANGAR, REPAIR GUY has DONE what he COULD. The WIRING is now REPLACED, although some JURY RIGGING was REQUIRED to make the NEW CABLES match the OLD ONES. The HYDRAULICS will require some SPECIALIZED SPARE PARTS and some DETAILED PROGRAMMING WORK to make SURE the OPERATING PARAMETERS are GOOD. A SMALL MISMATCH in the CONTROL SYSTEMS resulting from DIFFERENT SPECIFICATIONS might be a bit CATASTROPHIC, so you BETTER get it RIGHT.

Damage to AVIONICS is UNREPAIRABLE at this MOMENT. The GYRO will REQUIRE a REPLACEMENT MODULE designed SPECIFICALLY for the MAGNIFICENT SPACEPLANE. Same for JURY RIGGED AIR FILTERS which were only a TEMPORARY SOLUTION anyway.

COMBAT JANITOR has not yet FINISHED his EXTENSIVE CLEANING JOB. It may take him DAYS to WRAP this UP.

***

Okhotsk International Airport - Hotel
Russian Cougar's Suite

You are now: SUAVE PLAYBOY

You are at a HOTEL SUITE. The HOTEL SUITE is OCCUPIED by a RICH RUSSIAN COUGAR. The SUITE is very POSH though not QUITE as POSH as your ROOM. Which is DIRECTLY above this ONE. You have RETREATED here after COLLECTING a bunch of BUSINESS CARDS at the PARTY and LEAVING TROPICAL BEAUTY in the PRESIDENTIAL SUITE. She did not LIKE it.

SUAVE PLAYBOY engages in WOOING and HEAVY FLIRTATION. The RUSSIAN COUGAR is VERY INTERESTED in your MAGNIFICENT SPACEPLANE and is ASKING very DETAILED QUESTIONS about it. She appears very INTERESTED in taking a FLIGHT on it.

The DISCUSSION quickly TURNS into more DOWN to EARTH areas, or more PRECISELY, down to BED areas. SUAVE PLAYBOY decides to FINALIZE the TRANSACTION and GO for the GOLD.

SUAVE PLAYBOY realizes with HORROR that he CANNOT get it UP.

It MAY have SOMETHING to do with his TERRIBLE FEAR of TROPICAL BEAUTY who is only SEPARATED by a CEILING from HIM. He can't HELP but SEE her THROWING KNIVES at various SOFT PARTS of HIMSELF.

What do you do? _



Okhotsk, Downtown

You are now: ETERNAL FREEDOM, ZIXINUS, IVAN IVANOV

You are in DOWNTOWN OKHOTSK. The TOWN is in a STATE of BARELY STABLE ANARCHY. There is GUNFIRE from TIME to TIME. It is IGNORED.

You have BEGAN to SEARCH for some CONTACTS. ETERNAL FREEDOM took the TIME to CALL UP AMEX and OKAY his TRANSACTIONS. AMEX EMPLOYEES have ASKED him some INCONVENIENT QUESTIONS about the MASSIVE PURCHASE of UNMARKED GOLD, as compared to THAT, the $ 14 892 for SUAVE PLAYBOY'S HOTEL, CLOTHES and JEWELRY are SMALL POTATOES.

While that HAPPENS, IVAN IVANOV makes CONTACT with some very DANGEROUS PEOPLE. Your BARELY WORKING VAN fortunately MAKES you LOOK rather PENNILESS, so they don't BOTHER violently ROBBING and MURDERING you. You also have a BRAND NEW AK which DETERS violence FURTHER.

Or PUTS it into the FUTURE, one of the TWO.

After a BRIEF CONVERSATION with SEVERAL GANGS, IVAN IVANOV receives PROMISE they will PUT you in CONTACT with some TELCO BIGWIGS for a HEFTY but UNSPECIFIED FEE or an EVEN HEFTIER FAVOR.

The FAVORS usually involve EXTREME VIOLENCE or WEAPON SMUGGLING across TOWN.

The HEFTY FEES usually run into several THOUSAND DOLLARS AMERICAN.

What do you do?

[FaxModem1]

"Okay, that's all I can do without getting parts. I guess I'll help clean."

REPAIR GUY helps clean SPACEPLANE.

[Simon_Jester]

Spoiler

Oh mang, poor SUAVE PLAYBOY.

OLD SCAVENGING HOBO Says: He wanted to know if you are at the airport or not, and which hangar. Also that somebody pick him up when he leaves the airplane, he'll be here tomorrow at 7.30 P.M. Got any more vodka?

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST is SOMEWHAT IMPRESSED.

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST will answer the QUESTIONS and AGREE to see too it that he is PICKED UP AT AIRPORT.

The HYDRAULICS will require some SPECIALIZED SPARE PARTS and some DETAILED PROGRAMMING WORK to make SURE the OPERATING PARAMETERS are GOOD. A SMALL MISMATCH in the CONTROL SYSTEMS resulting from DIFFERENT SPECIFICATIONS might be a bit CATASTROPHIC, so you BETTER get it RIGHT.

Once we reach this step, MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST will HELP with the CONTROL PROGRAMMING using SCIENCE!; this is not an unfamiliar problem for someone accustomed to one-off MACHINE PROTECTION SYSTEMS for large LASER CANNON projects. Especially one-off HARDWARE that has been DESIGNED BY IDIOTS but must nonetheless WORK.

[PeZook]

ADDENDUM: While all of the ABOVE is HAPPENING, you begin to FEEL various levels of DISCOMFORT resulting from HUNGER.

Especially COMBAT JANITOR due to his OVERACTIVE METABOLISM. His HUNGER is ENORMOUS. Also RAVENOUS.

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST will answer the QUESTIONS and AGREE to see too it that he is PICKED UP AT AIRPORT.

The OLD SCAVENGING HOBO dutifully TRANSLATES everything. He makes some sort of AEROSPACE JOKE in RUSSIAN and receives a HEARTY OLD MAN'S LAUGH as REWARD before he HANGS UP.

OLD SCAVENGING HOBO Says: So, about that vodka...

[Shroom Man 777]

ASK the WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY to FIND some WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY FOOD

[doom3607]

Spoiler

So the Cultist is still outside of time and space? Ok then.

The cultist attempts to teleport to one of the cult's major temples, to raise the cult against Team L.A.M.E. to stop them Doing Things Man Was Not Meant To Do.
Spoiler

Easy space travel. If Cthulhu's going to eat the Earth, we're going to be here to max his meal tastier!

[Darkevilme]

SUAVE PLAYBOY has a solution to this problem! VODKA! Now he probably wont remember tonight come morning, but he wont remember TROPICAL BEAUTY for a few hours either. OH the things SUAVE PLAYBOY must sacrifice and endure for the sake of TEAM LAME.

[Force Lord]

HISTORIAN explores the HANGAR, tries to FIND SOMETHING OF WORTH.

[Simon_Jester]

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST returns to HANGAR and attempts to organize FOOD/VODKA RUN. VODKA is for HOBO; FOOD is for US (though if HOBO is hungry, he can have a meal on us as far as I'm concerned).

[PeZook]

You are now: SUAVE PLAYBOY

SUAVE PLAYBOY's copious SELF MEDICATION works as INTENDED by causing a TOTAL BLACKOUT. Unfortunately, it also causes DEGRADED PERFORMANCE, which the RUSSIAN COUGAR subtly HINTS AT come MORNING.

Not that SUAVE PLAYBOY cares due to the HEAD SPLITTING MIGRAINE.

The HEAD SPLITTING MIGRAINE is not HELPED by the FACT TROPICAL BEAUTY begins to YELL at HIM upon his RETURN to the PRESIDENTIAL SUITE.

TROPICAL BEAUTY is REALLY fucking ANGRY. She is HOLDING a LETTER KNIFE. She is SAYING something about LOUSY MEN and TESTICLES.

What do you do? _

***

You are now: QUIET HISTORIAN

QUIET HISTORIAN begins some ILL ADVISED EXPLORATION. His FORAYS lead him to the BASEMENT amongst INTERESTING yet DANGEROUS equipment. He REACHES a BEND in a VERY TIGHT CORRIDOR. He can go LEFT or RIGHT.

What do you do? _

***

You are now: MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST begins to THINK and comes to the CONCLUSION they can have the following SOURCES of FOOD:

A) AIRPORT CAFFETERIA, which requires MONEY or MEAL VOUCHERS

B) LOCAL PRODUCERS which will also require MONEY as well as TRANSPORTATION

C) A KIOSK just OUTSIDE the AIRPORT, which requires MONEY and carries mostly SNACKS

D) Some sort of TAKEOUT, which...you guessed it, requires MONEY, but allows for a wide SELECTION

E) HUNTING

All these can be used to acquire VODKA as well, although option E would require SPECIALIZED EQUIPMENT of DUBIOUS SAFETY.

What do you do? _

[Simon_Jester]

You are now: MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST begins to THINK and comes to the CONCLUSION they can have the following SOURCES of FOOD:

A) AIRPORT CAFFETERIA, which requires MONEY or MEAL VOUCHERS
B) LOCAL PRODUCERS which will also require MONEY as well as TRANSPORTATION
C) A KIOSK just OUTSIDE the AIRPORT, which requires MONEY and carries mostly SNACKS
D) Some sort of TAKEOUT, which...you guessed it, requires MONEY, but allows for a wide SELECTION
E) HUNTING

All these can be used to acquire VODKA as well, although option E would require SPECIALIZED EQUIPMENT of DUBIOUS SAFETY.

What do you do? _

We have, I believe, only ONE FIREARM. It is needed to GUARD the MAGNIFICENT SPACEPLANE from EVIL IDIOTS like FILTHY STOWAWAY CULTIST. We have ZERO PROFICIENT FIREARM USERS. Unless we sneak up on something and have COMBAT JANITOR kick it to death with his LETHAL PROSTHETIC LEG or something, (E) is right out.

PHYSICIST would prefer (A), (B), or (D). Unfortunately, he SUCKS at picking WHAT TO GET at times like this, so he CONFERS with other TEAM LAME members rather than TAKING A LEADERSHIP ROLE.

If other TEAM LAME members can't decide either, PHYSICIST will choose more or less at RANDOM.

[FaxModem1]

Spoiler

Wasn't there a kitchen included in the VIP hangar or something?

REPAIR GUY reverts back to WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY to go to kitchen to prepare food using what is available.

[Zixinus]

We were given meal vochers. I don't see why we should not use them.

[Simon_Jester]

If MUSTACHIOED HUNGARIAN were present, PHYSICIST would bow to his superior PRACTICALITY and MUSTACHIOES. However, in his absence, he must do his (HIGHLY IMPRACTICAL) best.

At least he didn't decide to go hunting. There's probably nothing around to eat but crazed Russians anyway.

[Force Lord]

You are now: QUIET HISTORIAN

QUIET HISTORIAN begins some ILL ADVISED EXPLORATION. His FORAYS lead him to the BASEMENT amongst INTERESTING yet DANGEROUS equipment. He REACHES a BEND in a VERY TIGHT CORRIDOR. He can go LEFT or RIGHT.

What do you do? _

HISTORIAN goes LEFT.

[Darkevilme]

SUAVE PLAYBOY is now regretting his PREVIOUS PLAN, explaining his regrets about said PREVIOUS PLAN is hampered by him being UNABLE TO RECOLLECT IT, LIMITED IN HIS VOCABULARY and him having his CHARM trampled by the CHARGE OF THE HANGOVER BRIGADE. SUAVE PLAYBOY begins assessing chances of MAKING IT TO THE BALCONY if things turn from WORSE to WORST, he believes there's a WAY DOWN.

[Zixinus]

There is always dumbster diving.

Wait. This is Libertarian Russia.

That would be a bad idea. There is probably a cornered market for that. With hobos requiring fees to even do it on their territory and the aggrement that they get the best pickings.

Now:

SEEING that WE'RE ALMOST PENNILESS and having ONE GUN IN TOTAL, we decline the idea of paying the gangs to CONTACT TELCO companies. Or at least leave it to IVAN, who probably knows how Russia works anyway.

Instead, USE UNCANNY SENSE OF SMELL and GUILE to find a CHEAP but DECENT FAST-FOOD RESTAURANT where I would buy DINNER for TEAM LAME. ATTEMPT to POOL MONEY with ETERNAL FREEDOM and IVAN to do so. Also, RING UP REPAIR GUY (or at least the HANGAR) telling that we're going we're bringing DINNER.

IF IT'S NOT TOO LATE. Usually it would take weeks for people to consider cannibalism, but considering our group, I'm not taking any light-hearted guesses.

[Eternal_Freedom]

REMOVE CASH from WALLET. TOTAL of US$30 and about 50c in loose change.

"Even in Libertarian Russia, that should be enough for at least some food."

[Scottish Ninja]

GET some PIROZHKI, SHASHLYK, and VODKA while OUT.

[Zixinus]

Tries to KEEP THAT IN MIND.

Hopefully, we'll only accidentally commit cannibalism.

Although, I'll keep low on vodka and go for MINERAL WATER as majority. Last few days has indicated that NOT BEING DRUNK may have its benefits, however feeble.

[Simon_Jester]

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST would AGREE; he always planned to DIE SOBER.

[FaxModem1]

WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY returns to being REPAIR GUY and searches HANGAR for SPARE PARTS.

[PeZook]

February 23rd 2025
Sunday

ROUND 7

***

PHYSICIST would prefer (A), (B), or (D). Unfortunately, he SUCKS at picking WHAT TO GET at times like this, so he CONFERS with other TEAM LAME members rather than TAKING A LEADERSHIP ROLE.

If other TEAM LAME members can't decide either, PHYSICIST will choose more or less at RANDOM.

You are now: MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST

The MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST is SAVED from the TERRIBLE PROSPECT of having to HERD a bunch of CATS by a PHONE CALL from the AWAY TEAM. You are INFORMED that DINNER will be COMING presently.

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST is RELIEVED. Although he HOPES the AWAY TEAM can get here FAST, as COMBAT JANITOR is already trying various THINGS for EDIBILITY.

***

HISTORIAN goes LEFT.

You are now: QUIET HISTORIAN

You have chosen to go LEFT.

You ADVANCE down an INCREASINGLY TIGHT TUNNEL full of MACHINERY. SUDDENLY, you STEP on SOMETHING and FALL OVER. The SOMETHING is a HUMAN SKULL. The HUMAN SKULL is ATTACHED to a SKELETON. The SKELETON is partially HIDDEN in a CLOSET. The CLOSET had been TORN APART by someting REALLY MEAN.

What do you do? _

***

You are now: REPAIR GUY

You have done some RESEARCH. There are SUPPLIERS of PARTS all AROUND the PLACE. They would require MONEY.

You have DISCOVERED a COMPUTER in the BREAK ROOM. It is OPERATIONAl. It has TUBENETWEB ACCESS.

What do you do? _

***

Okhotsk, Downtown

You are now: ETERNAL FREEDOM, ZIXINUS and IVAN IVANOV

You have LOCATED a FAST FOOD JOINT of DUBIOUS REPUTE. ZIXINUS SMELLS the FOOD and SERVERS and DECLARES it SAFE to EAT.

You PURCHASE a lot of VERY RUSSIAN FOOD on the URGING of IVAN IVANOV.

Having nothing ELSE to DO, you RETURN to the AIRPORT in the NICK of TIME and on FUEL FUMES. The FOOD is DISTRIBUTED and ALL becomes WELL, or at least LESS BAD. At least the HIGH VOLTAGE LOGIC PROBE does not HAVE to be USED. You are DEBRIEFED by MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST and LEARN of the IMMINENT ARRIVAL of your HEAT SHIELD SPECIALIST.

Also, you notice the QUIET HISTORIAN is MISSING. It takes you a WHILE since he's usually so QUIET.

What do you do? _

***

Okhotsk International Airport - Hotel
Presidential Suite

You are now: FUTURE SUAVE PLAYBOY

You are in DANGER.

You have ASSERTED your CHANCES of ESCAPING through a WINDOW. They are not GOOD for you have CHOSEN the MOST EXPENSIVE suite in the HOTEL, that also HAPPENS to be on TOP of the BUILDING.

TROPICAL BEAUTY is angrily DEMANDING something. There is fortunately no mention of MARRIAGE but a lot of things related to FIDELITY. The LETTER KNIFE is now being WAVED AROUND.

In sudden REALIZATION you put TWO and TWO together and REALIZE what she MEANT about your TESTICLES.

You instantly become SOBER.

What do you do? _

[FaxModem1]

REPAIR GUY emails FAT DRAGON and offers her BUSINESS PROPOSITION about financing SPACEPLANE.

Besides, the Chinese Triad could always use a SPACEPLANE.

In the meantime, REPAIR GUY makes a list of parts needed and sees how much they would COST.