Let's play: SCRAMming up!

[Zixinus]

MUTTER about SPINELESS MARKETING MEN.

Begin to SEEK jobs again, preferably with Ivan Ivanov's help. Put off buying shopping trip until we get a deposit. Someone in this blasted country needs something in orbit sooner or later.

[PeZook]

Where do you START? IVAN IVANOV doesn't KNOW Okhotsk all that WELL. There's a few TRANSPORT COMPANIES, a BANK, five or so LARGE TELCOS and more than three hundred TINY TELCOS, an ARMS and AMMO factory and several GANGS of varying levels of POWER.

From what you've LEARNED, IVAN PYOTREVICH and SYERGYEY IOSEFOVICH are some of the most INFLUENTIAL men in TOWN.

The BIGGEST companies are all in MOSCOW.

[FaxModem1]

Spoiler

So, what's left to repair?

If the HYDRAULICS are still broken, REPAIR GUY focuses on repairing that.

If not, REPAIR GUY focuses on AIR SYSTEMS and modifies AIR PURIFIER according to PLAN.

[Simon_Jester]

Helps REPAIR GUY do his work, according to plan. Suggest to him that the MISMATCHED OLD SEATS become our SECOND CLASS PASSENGER seating, should we ever need it. We can UPGRADE later.

The ISSUE of LASER CANNONS is a COMPLICATED one with MANY FACETS from POWER through MOUNTING all the way to the MECHANISM ITSELF.

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST is well AWARE of this, and will factor that into his reply once he's sure enough of the context and situation to reply.

If I am in contact with the OTHERS, I suggest that we contact SUAVE PLAYBOY, for the following REASONS:

1) CHECK about MONEY he's SPENDING, so ETERNAL FREEDOM can decide whether to VERIFY the AMEX PURCHASES or DISALLOW PLAYBOY'S EXPENSE ACCOUNT. With a LARGE AXE.

2) If SUAVE PLAYBOY is HOBNOBBING with the RICH AND FAMOUS, perhaps he can find a BORED RUSSIAN MILLIONAIRE who would like a SPACE FLIGHT and is willing to PAY US, or possibly INVEST IN US in exchange for a free ride LATER.* It works for SOYUZ CAPSULES, it can work for us.

*Since we can't fly into space until we get our heatshield problems worked out, and we can't get our heatshield problems worked out without spending money, and we may not have any money because of SUAVE PLAYBOY'S spending spree.

[FaxModem1]

REPAIR GUY thinks SCIENTIST's idea is brilliant, and says that SUAVE PLAYBOY should also use TROPICAL BEAUTY as eyecandy to help.

[PeZook]

While ZIXINUS is ATTEMPTING to make the BEST out of a BAD SITUATION, the OLD SOVIET HEAT SHIELD ENGINEER gives you a CALL at the HANGAR.

OLD SOVIET HEAT SHIELD ENGINEER is SPEAKING in RUSSIAN. He SOUNDS very, very, VERY OLD. None of you have ANY IDEA what he's SAYING.

EDIT: And in RESPONSE to MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST'S earlier INQUIRIES, the RAVENSTAR'S HEAT SHIELD is some INCOMPREHENSIBLE MATERIAL that is very HARD and TOUGH yet EXTREMELY HEAT RESISTANT.

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST is FLABBERGASTED and cannot make HEADS or TAILS of it.

He knows it is RADICAL, though.

Possibly even ROYALLY RADICAL.

[FaxModem1]

REPAIR GUY makes MOTIONING GESTURES to point EXPERT at HOLE.

[PeZook]

He can't SEE your GESTURES, as he's across the CONTINENT from YOU.

[FaxModem1]

Spoiler

No video phone?

In that case, REPAIR GUY texts PICTURE of HOLE to EXPERT using CELL PHONE.

[PeZook]

The OLD SOVIET HEAT SHIELD ENGINEER begins to SPEAK much FASTER. He SOUNDS quite ANNOYED and keeps repeating SOMETHING about IVAN.

[FaxModem1]

REPAIR GUY looks for IVAN IVANOV to get a translator.

[PeZook]

REPAIR GUY is INFORMED that IVAN IVANOV is in TOWN on an ERRAND right NOW.

[FaxModem1]

REPAIR GUY then holds up 50 DOLLARS AMERICAN for ACCURATE TRANSLATION and waits for crowd.

[Simon_Jester]

REPAIR GUY thinks SCIENTIST's idea is brilliant, and says that SUAVE PLAYBOY should also use TROPICAL BEAUTY as eyecandy to help.

BORED RUSSIAN MILLIONAIRE might very well be WOMAN, in which case that would be DISASTROUSLY COUNTERPRODUCTIVE.

Of course, This! Is! Team! LAAAAME! [kicks FILTHY STOWAWAY into a pit, metaphorically speaking.]

DISASTROUSLY COUNTERPRODUCTIVE is a modus operandi for us.

REPAIR GUY then holds up 50 DOLLARS AMERICAN for ACCURATE TRANSLATION and waits for crowd.

This is a VERY BAD PLAN that MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST expects will FAIL HORRIBLY.

PHYSICIST is already CONTEMPLATING a PLAN B, but has not yet formulated it.

[FaxModem1]

"Then how do we get a translator? Is there an app for that?"

REPAIR GUY puts away MONEY.

[Darkevilme]

SUAVE PLAYBOY has found you can use 'i work for a company with a magnificent spaceplane' as a way to enhance the WOMANIZER attribute. Probably only works in spaceport cities though. SUAVE PLAYBOY will engage in light mingling for an hour or so more of the party in hopes of making more RICH CONTACTS and then head UPSTAIRS, leaving TROPICAL BEAUTY in the HOTEL ROOM while going to the hotel room of RUSSIAN COUGAR to 'DISCUSS' her love of SPACEPLANES AND AIRCRAFT in a more intimate enviroment. SUAVE PLAYBOY leaves CELLPHONE with TROPICAL BEAUTY in the HOTEL ROOM so he's not DISTRACTED during IMPORTANT BUSINESS.

[Simon_Jester]

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST looks around.

If people HEARD REPAIR GUY, they will be CONVERGING ON US like a SWARM OF RUSSIANS who WANT MONEY. Dealing with the SWARM OF RUSSIANS takes precedence over implementing PLAN B.

If this results in INTERRUPTION of PHONE CONVERSATION with RUSSIAN ROCKET SCIENTIST, then PHYSICIST will pick up phone and say "Sorry. I do not speak Russian. Wait please." and hope for a better result than he expects.

Further actions by PHYSICIST depend on whether we must deal with a SWARM OF RUSSIANS due to REPAIR GUY'S PLAN.
Spoiler

PHYSICIST'S plan was to go looking for one of the airport owners' subordinates, someone who speaks English and knows at least something about aerospace and has a vested interest in getting our MAGNIFICENT SPACEPLANE flying again. This last is probably important in LIBERTARIAN RUSSIA.

[FaxModem1]

Spoiler

Whoops.

REPAIR GUY, now ahold of his SENSES, uses GOOGLE TRANSLATE on phone to UNDERSTAND RUSSIAN EXPERT.

[Simon_Jester]

"Nice. Now, how do you get him to understand you?"

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST keeps an eye out for SWARM OF RUSSIANS converging on REPAIR GUY'S MONEY.

[FaxModem1]

"Speak louder? I don't know, does it work both ways or will I sound like four year old idiot?"

[Force Lord]

HISTORIAN catches PICKPOCKET trying to steal his MONEY, BEATS THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF HIM.

[Eternal_Freedom]

CALLS AMEX. VERIFIES PURCHASES for SUAVE PLAYBOY. But MAKE CAREFUL NOTE of the AMOUNTs, so I can JUDICIOUSLY MURDERISE him LATER if NECESSARY.

[Zixinus]

IGNORE DERANGED HISTORIAN as his current behaviour is an IMPROVEMENT.
SOMEWHAT.

Where do you START? IVAN IVANOV doesn't KNOW Okhotsk all that WELL.

I was thinking of just asking him for ideas (he may not know Okhotsk well, but he knows Russia well), or even trying to ask the GRU trough him.

There's a few TRANSPORT COMPANIES, a BANK, five or so LARGE TELCOS and more than three hundred TINY TELCOS, an ARMS and AMMO factory and several GANGS of varying levels of POWER.

Going to the LARGE TELCOS in case they are planning to launch a satellite and offering a better deal for getting them into orbit.

Finally, if we are still trying local, calling up the AVIATION COMPANIES from the FLYER given by IVAN PYETROVICH may give another lead. ASKING IVAN PYETROVICH himself about work may also be prudent.

[FaxModem1]

REPAIR GUY hands phone to SCIENTIST since he is better at HIGH CONCEPTS and returns to REPAIRING PLANE.

[Simon_Jester]

"I'm sorry, sir, I do not speak Russian. I will go find someone."
Spoiler

I've lost track: is the phone the heat shield guy contacted a mobile phone, or a 'fixed' (corded or short-range cordless) phone?

If RUSSIAN ROCKET SCIENTIST has called one of our MOBILE PHONES, MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST goes looking for AIRPORT EMPLOYEE who can TRANSLATE, carrying phone and listening to him, even if I can't understand what he's saying.

If RUSSIAN ROCKET SCIENTIST has called a FIXED PHONE, MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST glances around to see if SWARM OF ENGLISH-SPEAKING RUSSIANS has converged on REPAIR GUY'S offer of MONEY. Is this or is this not the case?


Contingency plans:

If, by some miracle, RUSSIAN ROCKET SCIENTIST starts speaking ENGLISH, even BAD ENGLISH, MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST will do his best to carry on conversation, praying that his LANGUAGE BARRIER CLIMBING skills are up to the task.

If and only if RUSSIAN ROCKET SCIENTIST starts speaking GERMAN (who knows, maybe he's that old), MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST will explain IN BAD GERMAN that he speaks VERY BAD GERMAN, and "Ob Sie sprechen Englisch nicht, ich will gehen und ein Mann sprecht Russische gefinden."


[Translation: a somewhat mangled attempt to say in German "If you-sir do not speak English, I will go and find a man who speaks Russian."

Most notable mistake, since I wrote that off the top of my head, is that "ich will" means "I want to" not "I will."

Second most notable mistake, "ob" is the wrong version of the word "if."

Hopefully, in the unlikely event that RUSSIAN ROCKET SCIENTIST starts speaking GERMAN, he will understand this sentence anyway, or reply in GERMAN I can understand]