StarDestroyer.Net BBS

You are CAPTAIN JEAN-LUC PICARD of the FEDERATION STARSHIP ENTERPRISE. You are currently on the BRIDGE of the Enterprise. You have just left Starbase 47, and are current patrolling outside THE NEUTRAL ZONE.

Next to you is your executive officer COMMANDER WILLIAM T. RIKER and at the helm is your robot buddy, LIEUTENANT COMMANDER DATA.

What will you do?

I say

"Data! Plot a course for Starbase 1, Warp 7! Then punch Riker in the balls."

"Number 1 - you will, without protest, allow Commander Data to punch you in the balls."

quickly retrieve arms from replicator

Tell Riker to shave off that pencil thin douchebag beard and grow a real mans beard, like that one he had back when it was live action.

Nieztchean Uber-Amoeba wrote:quickly retrieve arms from replicator

You've already got arms, numbnuts!

"scan the neutral zone, mr. data"

Chardok wrote:I say

"Data! Plot a course for Starbase 1, Warp 7! Then punch Riker in the balls."

"Number 1 - you will, without protest, allow Commander Data to punch you in the balls."

Data doesn't know what the fuck

Nieztchean Uber-Amoeba wrote:quickly retrieve arms from replicator

You've already got arms numbnuts!

The Vortex Empire wrote:Tell Riker to shave off that pencil thin douchebag beard and grow a real mans beard, like that one he had back when it was live action.

you have hurt Riker's feelings, he runs off the bridge.

Uraniun235 wrote:"scan the neutral zone, mr. data"

Data begins the scan of the neutral zone. He says it will take several hours.

You are being hailed by another ship.

Instant Sunrise wrote:You are being hailed by another ship.

Reverse the polarity of the photon modulator in the deflector dish to create some fireworks that say "wut up"

Hail the ship back!

tell riker over the intercom that he'd better have a real beard next time I see him or he's getting spaced

order the crew of the ship to point and laugh at rikers shameful ways

Order Mr Data to press the Large Red Button on his console... no not that one, the one just to the left.

Chardok wrote:Hail the ship back!

It is THE ROMULANS. They are demanding that you assist them in locating another source of shoulderpads, or else there will be another war with the federation.

Get Data to sew some shoulderpads for the Romulans

Time travel to the 1980s.

Nieztchean Uber-Amoeba wrote:Get Data to sew some shoulderpads for the Romulans

Data does not know how to sew shoulderpads.

atg wrote:Time travel to the 1980s.

MAKE.
IT.
SO.

You arrive in 1980.


However, there is a BIRD OF PREY headed towards Earth.

What will you do?

Quickly fire on the Bird of prey, therefore preventing a hostile klingon takeover of poor defencless earth.

After the bird of prey is destroyed, bring the whole crew to a Judas Priest concert on their british steel tour

Hail the Klingon ship, and tell the captain and the entire Klingon crew that they have been granted extended shore leave, but they have to make it back to q'onos in like 12 hours. There is also cake.

Chardok wrote:Hail the Klingon ship, and tell the captain and the entire Klingon crew that they have been granted extended shore leave, but they have to make it back to q'onos in like 12 hours. There is also cake.

You order Mister Data to hail the ship.





















The bird of prey has been destroyed. Everybody aboard it was killed.

"I am disappointed in you, Mister Data. You are relieved and confined to quarters."

"Number 1 - Please tell me a joke while I wait for the narrator to tell me what is happening now."

Call Counsellor Troi to the bridge and retire to the ready room for some counselling.

Use the scanners to locate a shoulder pads warehouse and beam aboard enough shoulder pads to fill up all the cargo bays.

Once that's done, time travel back to the 24th century to give the Romulans their new shoulder pads.

MEANWHILE IN SPACE


An ANGRY ADMIRAL floats towards the Enterprise, his stolen spaceship, destroyed.

RAMMING SPEED TOWARDS THAT TINY MAN