Playing a MW2 match with my friends. Guy calls in a precision airstrike on me. I run in between the bombs. Friend: What the fuck? Me: Your own bombs didn't kill me. how does that make you feel?

Playing -more than one year ago- Silent Hunter IV, and to be more concise, the mission that simulates the battle of Leyte Gulf and that puts you in the middle of the Japanese Combined Fleet.

Was with my Gato preparing to torpedo the mighty Yamato when other japanese vessel -I think a destroyer- sets a course ram/depth charge my sub... just when the Yamato was passing.
Nasty metallic noises start to sound and the destroyer is sunk rammed by the battleship that, of course, did not and does not brake.

I can't stop watching this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36lSzUMBJnc

---

"And everywhere the humans went, they found life..."

That is awesome, Valve better release it on WiiU what with their proclaimed interest in the new Nintendo console.)

So my tale is from the trenches of GoldenEye Wii. In Heroes mode, noobs are just suicidal, turning into Bond even when it doesn't help them. In a Black Box match, I scored 8 times as many kills as the rest of my team combined, they died 8:1, totally useless.

So, I was playing Halo: Reach's campaign on legendary with my friend last night, and once we hit the last mission things got ridiculous.

We started driving around in a civilian semi truck, with me driving and my friend riding on the hitch area with a rocket launcher, and Emil riding shotgun.
We got to this cliff, and my friend got onto a mongoose, which Emil got onto the back, so my friend backed the mongoose to the cliff, gets out, and starts trying to push it over, and the following transpires:
Friend: "Fuck, I can't push it over."
Me: "Wait, let me do it." *rams mongoose with semi several times*
Friend: "It's working!" *helps*
Me: "Yeah!" "Shit! It won't back up! No, no, no no no no no!" *semi falls off cliff after mongoose*
Friend: *laughing his ass off*

After I re-spawned we found one of the smaller trucks and let Emil get in it, while my friend got on the top of it. We then decided to try and jump the bridge with it.

Friend: "Okay, let's get this thing to top speed!"
Me: "Um, dude, this is top speed."
Friend: "Well, we might make it!"
*gets to bridge*
Me: "We're gonna make it!"
*truck starts to jump gap, badly*
Friend: "We're not going to make it!"
Me: "Fuck!" *truck hits other side of bridge and starts to slip off down into the canyon. Friend walks off the top of the truck onto the road, which were for the moment at the same level.*
Friend, watching truck fall and explode: "Ha ha, I made it!" *proceeds to laugh hysterically*

Later in the mission we decided that we were going to get a forklift onto Captain Keye's pelican. Cue swearing and cursing as one of us tries to protect the driver from enemies while the driver tries to navigate cramped spaces with a forklift.
At the end, we managed to do it, after zealously protecting the damn thing. My friend even charged a brute wielding a grav hammer and overshields when he ran out of ammo shouting "PROTECT THE FORKLIFT!" the whole battle.

I got the truck over that cliff. I used it to ram the Wraith in the same area...and as a meatshield.

Playing Lego Star Wars -

*le Join STRAK's Party*


Everyone: He Chadz!

Me: Hay guise, playing Lego Star Wars with ricky here! How everyone


Everyone: Oh, good, blah blah blah


*a Wild MBbucher appears!*

*random conversation*

Random guy: Oh, you're from SDN?


Me: Yeah, I'm Chardok, yo.

Them: Oh...wow, I thought you'd have a more manly voice.


Me: *forever alone*

I was talking to WarHero and SgtMatt and one of them sounds EXACTLY LIKE HAWX!

WarHero isn't from SDN man. And which one was it, WarHero left first.

---

My Xbox Live Gamertag is Sergeant Matt

"This cosmic dance of bursting decadence and withheld permissions twists all our arms collectively, but if sweetness can win, and it can, then I'll still be here tomorrow to high-five you yesterday, my friend. Peace. " -The Royal Tart Toter

Playing Battlefield: BC2; my team's defending on a Rush map and someone steals the attackers' Bradley IFV and gives us an easy win.
Teammate 1: "And what have we learned about the APC?"
Teammate 2: "It is better to give than to receive."

This is a conversation between me and my friend/GM, on a road trip, talking about our party. I adventure with 3 guys named Larry, Josh, and Drain (yes, Drain).

GM: So I think Larry's going to be out. He's just not into D&D.
Me: So who's going to be our healer?
GM: Well Josh is coming back.
Me: Josh is a summoner.
GM: No, not Josh, Josh. Josh who went to Santa Cruz.
Me: Oh, so Josh will be a healer and Josh can keep being a summoner?
GM: No, Josh is almost always some sort of drunk-boxing fighter.
Me: So if Josh won't heal, then will Josh heal?
GM: No, cuz Josh really likes being a summoner. But Josh might be able to get his friend to come.
Me: Whats his name?
GM: Also named Josh.
Me: >_< So I'm playing with 3 guys named Josh?
GM: Looks like it.
Me: And Josh is going to be a healer?
GM: Actually, Josh has been taking a look as being a summoner, but he's never played D&D before.
Me: So can Josh teach Josh how to play a summoner?
GM: No, Josh is going to be a drunk fighter.
Me: Well how about Josh then? Can he help Josh?
GM: Probably, but before Josh helps Josh, Josh needs to decide if Josh is going to be a healer or a ranged caster.
Me: And Josh won't do ranged, he's going to be a drunken fighter?
GM: Probably. Oh, for ranged we might have another new player.
Me: Is his name Josh?
GM: No, its Peter. (my name is also Peter).
Me: (laughing hysterically at this point) So Josh is going to be a summoner, Josh is going to be a drunken fighter for sure, and Josh is either going to be a healer or he might be a summoner if Josh can help Josh figure out the class. Peter is going to be a caster, but Peter will continue to be a Paladin.
GM: And Drain is still a barbarian.
Me: Awesome. I need a drink.

---

Stuart: The only problem is, I'm losing track of which universe I'm in.
You kinda look like Jesus. With a lightsaber.- Peregrin Toker

chewie who must have been on first...

---

The scariest folk song lyrics are "My Boy Grew up to be just like me" from cats in the cradle by Harry Chapin

No, who was a Zen Archer.

---

Stuart: The only problem is, I'm losing track of which universe I'm in.
You kinda look like Jesus. With a lightsaber.- Peregrin Toker

Last night I was on Teamspeak with an old MMO buddy, we both been levelling our toons after the latest LOTRO expansion. He starts cursing because his inventory is full AGAIN. He always manages to fill it up in 1/3 of the time it takes my inventory to fill up. So I ask him what exactly he's lugging around all the time. The dialogue goes as follows:

Him: Well the usual, potions, quest items, vendor trash, cosmetic armor...
Me: Wait. You do know that you don't have to physically carry the items after putting them in cosmetic slots, right?
Him: Uuuuuuhm. Huh. No, I did not know that.

Turns out he's been literally wasting around a dozen inventory slots ever since cosmetics had been introduced 3 or 4 years ago, on all his characters, all the freaking time...

Had a fun Capture Ground game on Space Marine yesterday. Got sick of people constantly picking the Final Vengeance perk, so I started singing a song about why I hate it so much, being primarily a Devastator/Havoc and a Assault/Raptor. Next thing I know, my entire team is singing with me and we went on the kick the enemy team's ass. Good times.

I don't know if it counts as a conversation, but in world of warcraft I was hired by a guild to manage their inventory/supply for raids, get stuff made, and sell goods for them to make gold. In return I keep 10% of the gross of all sales.

Which is kinda nice.

---

Stuart: The only problem is, I'm losing track of which universe I'm in.
You kinda look like Jesus. With a lightsaber.- Peregrin Toker

RPG rather than Computer game

A Black Crusade campaign

GM (me): So your going to sneak into the ecclesiarchy orphanage using your wings to fly over the electric fence, pick the lock, drug and kidnap some of the children while leaving evidence to blame the Mechanicus. Then your going to the sacrifice the kids to summon demons.

Player 1: Yep

Player 2: Hey, do you ever think we might be the bad guys?

Of course another player then found a banner on the web reading 'Helo, Servitor-convertable children. There are Sugar-products in my Vehicle.' and we decided the Mechanicus could be much worse.

I.ll give two cards for an ore
ok
you want to know the specifics
no, exact word two cards for one ore card, I'll take two from your hand at random
shit those were the grain I needed to build a city
I can be fae like that.

---

The scariest folk song lyrics are "My Boy Grew up to be just like me" from cats in the cradle by Harry Chapin

while playing shadowrun and crawling through a slightly used oil pipeline.
1st person "I can't see"
2nd person "Don't worry I have a light". As he pulls out a lighter.

---

"There are very few problems that cannot be solved by the suitable application of photon torpedoes

While in a chat for a forum RPG:

[18:00:24] Dragonruby : To be fair my colonization ships require roads
[18:00:27] Dragonruby : SPACE ROADS
[18:00:45] Bloogle : Space roads are best roads
[18:00:55] Dragonruby : But it could work, though my ship would probably be a scout ship of some kind
[18:00:55] Vulo : Space traffic jams would be horrible.
[18:01:01] Vulo : You couldn't lean out your window to flip anyone off.
[18:01:07] REDSHEILD : LOL

Tev, Sith Warrior, to Nitram, Sith Inquistor as they aid each other in a mutual rise to power.

Tev: "Your master isn't as sneaky as she thinks she is."
Nit: "No, and it simply means I take her place faster."

---

agentfisherSDnet: You're as brilliant as you are beautiful.
Librium Arcana, Where Gamers Play!
"We're cooler than an iced frappicino -- On the Planet Hoth!"

From the SR game that gave rise to my incomplete Professed Intentions fic:

My sister, Liv was running the game (her real-world security knowledge, combined with a surreal ability to improvise undiluted awesome out of whole cloth on the fly while at full tilt, has made her that group's default Shadowrun GM), and she was having more than a little trouble keeping up with the three of us - self (Bish), Baz (Locust) and Eddles (Nails), and gave vent to her feelings.

LIV and SELF, BAZ, EDDLES sit AROUND a plastic garden TABLE. Various DRINKS are near to hand.

LIV: "Aargh! I'm being outsmarted, outthought and out-cunninged at each and every bloody turn!"

SELF, BAZ and EDDLES collectively BEAM at the compliment.

LIV rounds on SELF: "YOU bloody well keep out smarting me!"

I try VERY HARD not to PISS MYSELF laughing.

I fail and CRACK UP.

LIV rounds on EDDLES: "YOU keep out-thinking me, damn wookiee!" (EDDLES is quite large and hairy).

EDDLES replies wordlessly, via an eyebrow making a SPOCKIAN LEAP, then very eloquently SHRUGS.

LIV rounds on BAZ: "And you, your bloody rat cunning..."

BAZ takes a swing of his drink, then replies, having the BENEFIT of his relative AGE and WISDOM: "And you're comparing yourself to the middle points of three perfectly average joes, not their specialties."

EDDLES cracks at the PATENT ABSURDITY of Liv's FLAWED COMPARISON and joins SELF in HYSTERICAL, HELPLESS LAUGHTER.

---

A mad person thinks there's a gateway to hell in his basement. A mad genius builds one and turns it on. - CaptainChewbacca

In a freeform RP:

Player: "So the probe is 3.77e9 tons, and going at 99.99% c..."
Me: "Okay, let's see how the planet holds..."
*we both do math*
Me: "Well shit... Holy fuck...."
Player: *Links adagio for strings*
Me: "Congrats, your spacebricks just pulled a Taiidani."

I went over a mates place not long after reach came or and we were playing rocket fight mode. There wad one elite left near the middle of the map as we both ran at it. We fired at the same time, fired at the same time, and watched the elite run off.

Me: What the **** just happened.
Mate: No idea.

We then watch the video to find out. I fired just before he did, my rocket going between the elites legs. His, between it's arm, torso and it's leg.

After making an unfortunate typo when remarking that my PC was running kind of hot:

<Stahd> So your PC is getting a bit ho?
<Stahd> i hope her usb ports are in presentable order
<Bigby> most likely not :X
<Sweets> check for virus too
<Ghengizcohen> os fem 1.0 :/
<me> *facepalm*