Cool, a Gladiator ripoff, canned sound effects, a little sex, some Matrix ripoff, and John-Rhys Davies saying God Save the King plus others giving cliche one-liners. What's not to like about it. I think I saw a Predator ripoff too with the rope coming out of the ground grabbing the man.
And of course the trailer makes a lot of sense and we know exactly what the movie is about.
Who the hell uses ninjas nowadays that isn't making a comedy? Fuck, I could maybe understand it if it was set in Japan, but....
And what the hell is up with the main character's kung-fu? God, Boll was supposed to be making a fucking fantasy film, not a Hong-Kong action movie!
Edit: Above comments come from someone who has never played the game or games this movie is based upon. I apologize if the character in the game is also a martial-arts master (however laughable that is).
"A mind is like a parachute. It only works when it is open."
-Sir James Dewar
Each time we say "Damn but Boll can't get any worse!" Each time we're wrong .... weep for humanity.
Seriously, check out the actors he has in there, John Rys Davies, Burt Reynolds, Ray Liotta, Jason Statham, Ron Perlman and i bet there's more. How can they all be so stupid as to take part in a Uwe Boll film?!?!
Ph34r teh eyebrow!!11!Writers GuildSluggitePawn of ChaosWYGIWYGAINGW so now i have to put ACPATHNTDWATGODW in my sigEBC-Honorary Geordie Hammerman! Hammer!
Someone needs to tell Statham, Reynolds, Perlman, Liotta, and Davies that they're too good to get Boll'd. It's like making Kraft Dinner with exquisite French cheeses: It's still cheap crap and stinks even worse for trying to add something good to it.
Note: I'm semi-retired from the board, so if you need something, please be patient.
Lagmonster wrote:Someone needs to tell Statham, Reynolds, Perlman, Liotta, and Davies that they're too good to get Boll'd. It's like making Kraft Dinner with exquisite French cheeses: It's still cheap crap and stinks even worse for trying to add something good to it.
ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGG stupid
Sudden power is apt to be insolent, sudden liberty saucy; that behaves best which has grown gradually.
Lagmonster wrote:Someone needs to tell Statham, Reynolds, Perlman, Liotta, and Davies that they're too good to get Boll'd. It's like making Kraft Dinner with exquisite French cheeses: It's still cheap crap and stinks even worse for trying to add something good to it.
ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGG stupid
You want to try that again, but using sentences this time?
Note: I'm semi-retired from the board, so if you need something, please be patient.
Hmm, it seems like Boll is fond of listing the elements in his movie during the trailer. He did the same with the BloodRayne trailer.
"A bunch of ninjas..."
"Some fake looking fights..."
"A King..."
"A farmer..."
Boll must be the most charismatic person on earth if he can keep convincing well know actors to keep starring in his films. Either that, or he is giving them a shitload of money. Maybe both!
"If brute force is not solving your problems, you are obviously not using enough"
-Common Imperial Guard saying
"Scripture also says 'Render unto Caesar what Caesar demands.' And right now, Caesar demands a building permit,"
-County Commisioner Mike Whitehead to Dr. Dino
I did not here a single decent or well acted line in that entire thing (not even from Davies; I suppose he doesn't give a damn, I wouldn't), none of those involved actually appear to be capable of running, and instead waddle, the film would appear to have no plot or point, and it has Zombie ninjas.
Lagmonster wrote:Someone needs to tell Statham, Reynolds, Perlman, Liotta, and Davies that they're too good to get Boll'd. It's like making Kraft Dinner with exquisite French cheeses: It's still cheap crap and stinks even worse for trying to add something good to it.
ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGG stupid
You want to try that again, but using sentences this time?
LOL.. sorry.. (Translated) its fucking stupid to see Statham and Liotta in this movie.
Sudden power is apt to be insolent, sudden liberty saucy; that behaves best which has grown gradually.
Ok I've seen it now... and... WTF? is that Farmer a former grand weaponmaster or so shit? He knows kungfu, staff, sword, dual-weilding and more apprently. Pretty damn good for a "simple farmer" That trail just blows and it looks like a solid MST3k movie already.
"A cult is a religion with no political power." -Tom Wolfe Pardon me for sounding like a dick, but I'm playing the tiniest violin in the world right now-Dalton
well If I remember the game, you start out as a simple farmer, but after an ungodly number of hours killing things you become lord bad ass motherfucker.
I used to like pole arms simply for the darth maul like twists and twirls
The scariest folk song lyrics are "My Boy Grew up to be just like me" from cats in the cradle by Harry Chapin
Jesus Christ, what an incoherent mess. You know it'll be bad when you get more entertainment from trying to count all the movies being ripped off than from the actual trailer.
BoTM / JL / MM / HAB / VRWC / Horseman
I'm studying for the CPA exam. Have a nice summer, and if you're down just sit back and realize that Joe is off somewhere, doing much worse than you are.