January 22nd 2025
Wednesday
ROUND 3
Barack Obama Private Spaceflight Complex
Hangar no. 8
Merrit Island, FL
You are now: FILIPINO JANITOR, ZIXINUS, PHANT, ETERNAL FREEDOM, IVAN IVANOV, SUAVE PLAYBOY, RI'ANN SHAPP and WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY.
You are in a HANGAR. You are WELL RESTED. It is MORNING. It is HORRIBLY HOT. Also EXTREMELY HUMID. The HANGAR is EMPTY. There is an ACTUAL SPACEPLANE. The SPACEPLANE is MAGNIFICIENT. There is CHINESE TAKEOUT scattered EVERYWHERE. There is a HORRIBLE MESS of VARIOUS GEAR around the HANGAR FLOOR. A HELICOPTER seems to be CIRCLING above the AIRFIELD since EARLY MORNING. There is PANIC. The PANIC is ENORMOUS. There are lots of ARMED FEDERAL AGENTS. They are ATTACKING the HANGAR. There is an IRRITABLE DOG. The IRRITABLE DOG is ATTACKING the FILIPINO JANITOR.
There is much SCREAMING and SHOUTING all around the HANGAR. The SPACEPLANE is CLOSING its PAYLOAD BAY and SPOOLING UP the FUEL PUMPS. ETERNAL FREEDOM is SCREAMING at PEOPLE to GET IN before he FIRES UP the ENGINES and COOKS everyone ALIVE.
The SUAVE PLAYBOY is YELLING like a LITTLE GIRL. He is HAULING ZIXINUS towards the SPACEPLANE. ZIXINUS is UNCONSCIOUS. It will be TROUBLESOME to GET him ABOARD.
The FILIPINO JANITOR is STRANGLING the IRRITABLE DOG with a STRING OF SAUSAGES he PRODUCED out of SOMEWHERE. RI'ANN SHAPP is HITTING the FILIPINO JANITOR on the HEAD with something HEAVY in an ATTEMPT to SAVE the IRRITABLE DOG. They are RUNNING out of TIME.
The ARMED FEDERAL AGENTS are STORMING IN through the FRONT DOORS. It LOOKS like they will be ABLE to STOP you after all.
Suddenly, IVAN IVANOV arrives and RUNS across the HANGAR. He is YELLING that you should RUN like you STOLE something, as if it wasn't OBVIOUS. The ARMED FEDERAL AGENTS are YELLING at IVAN IVANOV to SURRENDER, but he DIALS a NUMBER on his CELL PHONE and SUDDENLY something EXPLODES MIGHTILY. The GROUND SHAKES, and the ARMED FEDERAL AGENTS are DISTRACTED for a FEW PRECIOUS SECONDS.
The MAIN HANGAR DOORS start OPENING driven by ELECTRIC MOTORS. WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY manages to CLIMB the LADDER to the TOP HATCH and HELPS SUAVE PLAYBOY WINCH ZIXINUS aboard. They LOSE their BALANCE and FALL INSIDE on a MAN HEAP. IVAN IVANOV JUMPS on THEM. It is VERY PAINFUL.
ETERNAL FREEDOM Says: Buckle up, fuckers! Here goes nothing!
The FUEL PUMPS reach their CRESCENDO. The ARMED FEDERAL AGENTS scream in GIRLY FEAR and RUN for COVER. ZIXINUS suddenly WAKES UP and acts HYPER. He RUNS to the COCKPIT while BABBLING INCOHERENTLY. His HANDS are SHAKING.
ETERNAL FREEDOM looks PSYCHOTIC. He is GRINNING WIDELY. He GIVES ZIXINUS a THUMBS UP and SLAMS the THROTTLE FORWARD.
The MAN HEAP in the PASSENGER SECTION is SLAMMED into the BULKHEAD by the ACCELERATION. It is VERY PAINFUL. The ENGINES spew EXHAUST into the HANGAR. The EXHAUST is WHITE HOT. They PROPEL the SPACEPLANE forward. It starts to do a WHEELIE.
ZIXINUS Says: What the hell are you doing? You won't make the turn what the hell are you doing?!
ETERNAL FREEDOM Says: We're going straight!
ZIXINUS SCREAMS something FOUL in HUNGARIAN. WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY managed to STRAP IN and is PRAYING. PHANT had SOMEHOW managed to GET ABOARD. He is WHIMPERING.
ZIXINUS Says: There's not enough space! NOT ENOUGH SPACE!
SUAVE PLAYBOY Yells: THIS IS INSANE WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE OH MY GOD WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!
The SPACEPLANE's NOSE is RAPIDLY RISING. Something SCREECHES on the TARMAC. The HANGAR on the OPPOSITE SIDE of the TAXIWAY is RAPIDLY CLOSING. The MAN HEAP is being THROWN AROUND like RUBBER DOLLS. The SPACEPLANE is STARTING to SHAKE TERRIBLY.
ETERNAL FREEDOM LAUGHS MANIACALLY. There is a TRAIL of BURNING TARMAC behind your SPACEPLANE. The FEDERAL AGENTS are RUNNING AWAY as FAST as they POSSIBLY CAN.
ZIXINUS Yells: We're gonna hit it! We're gonna hit it...
SUAVE PLAYBOY Yells: AND WE'RE GONNA FUCKING DIE!!!
EVERYONE Yells: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
ETERNAL FREEDOM Screams: I TOLD YOU FUCKERS I KNOW HOW TO FLY!
END OF CHAPTER 1
INSERT DISK 2