StarDestroyer.Net BBS

Just a heads-up: I wanted todo an update today...yeah, that's not gonna happen. Sorries.

I did write down Rob Johnson, though

Mayabird wrote:If ever the female cosmonaut event comes up, my cosmonaut's name will be Svetmaya, as suggested by Simon.

Well, it was Shroomy's idea originally, I just passed it on.

PeZook wrote:Oh holy shit Shroomanski did summon The Stas after all!

Yeah. I was in another city when the summoning happened. So it took me a while to teleport back... yup. I use name-search, so there's no way this thread could've went unnoticed by me.

The whole ritual is developed from a joke we made out of Stas' ability to detect the mention of his name. It originated from this thread.

What would happen if a non Zenobian did it when not in Zenobia?

If a Thanasian falls in Bearlin and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

Robert "Bob" Johnson arrived at the Cape. He would be reporting for duty officially within a couple days, but he always liked to show up early, check the place out, find the local drinking spots, that sort of thing.

"Gosh! Golly g-Hrghmrrh!" He cleared his throat and glanced around to make sure no one was around to hear his lapse, then started again. "Hot damn, I'm here! Ladies, prepare for a great time because Bob Johnson has arrived!"

He threw his duffel back over his shoulder and went to look around.

BIFF MCCAIN was on his way out of the Cape. He was resigning, but as one of the first astronauts and due to his role in the space program, he had a lot of things to take care off before he could finally be done with MASA. He had so many plans, yes he did. He wanted to go into politics, and one day he dreamed that he would run for President and save Murca from some upstart luberal Barry bent on destroying it. Why, if they elected the wrong person, who knew what would happen, the country might fall apart!

Some things were even more important than exploring space, and ironically BIFF only realized that when he was out there, looking down at the world. It was so small and blue...

BIFF sighed. He remembered how he talked to OHJESUS. It was never the same with him gone. His ghost was still haunting the radio and PA system. That was also one of the reasons why he was leaving. BIFF MCCAIN was afraid of ghosts.

As BIFF made his way for the exit/entrance, he passed by a new face. The man shouted, "Hot damn, I'm here! Ladies, prepare for a great time because Bob Johnson has arrived!"

BIFF chuckled. These rookies were all the same, all fun and games and lube when they start out, before they gain experience, before their first nerve-wracking mission.

"Hey, buddy!" BIFF shouted back at the guy. "Want a head's up?"

"Yeah, what?" BOB JOHNSON asked.

"There aren't much ladies around here, man!" BIFF laughed.

Rex Modem saw the fresh meat entering the base, and decided to say hi.

"Howdy!" he said with as much of a Braskan drawl as he could manage. He then held out a hand to the new pilot.

"I'm a prospective astronaut too, let me show you around."

Barnest1 wandered onto the base, having come in on the same bus as bob johnson. He looked around before walking over to the Johnson and another man, introducing himself.

"Okay, first off, my name is Rex Modem. Both of my older brothers were or are in MASA. So if you ever have a problem, come to me with a box of cigarettes and I'll see what I can do. Second, what are your names?"

"Names Captain barnest1. Transferred from the Air force. I'm hoping to get to fly something bigger than an F-4."

Stas Bush wrote:

PeZook wrote:Oh holy shit Shroomanski did summon The Stas after all!

Yeah. I was in another city when the summoning happened. So it took me a while to teleport back... yup. I use name-search, so there's no way this thread could've went unnoticed by me.

Stas Bush, a question, out of character:

If I may ask, if you really were in a position to decide whether to disappear Khrushchev or Brezhnev via supernatural means, which would you leave alive?

And seriously, I'm glad you like this. It's been a bit challenging for me since I'd never heard of the game before in my life until I joined this thread, but I hope I'm doing the cause of pseudo-Soviet space exploration reasonably proud-ish. Subject to the limits of the game engine, anyway...

[grumbles about how the engine turns Vostok flights into flying coffins]

Hey, one of them made it. That's not that bad a record, considering how few we launched. The only thing I find odd about the Vostoks killing anyone was that the only person they killed was one of the two people von Evilstein wanted them to kill...

Colonel Ravensburg noticed the bunch of other newbies aroudn the gate on his morning run, and decided to sotp off and say hi.

"Hey guys, you new astronauts as well?"

He quickly consulted his memory, and matched names to faces.

"Rex, Captain Barnest and you...I don't know. Howdy, I'm Edward Ravensburg, like Barnets here I'm from the Air Force. I got a bit further though, I made bird-Colonel before this gig turned up. Should be interesting at least!"

Don't worry, Simon. The Mercury is also pretty deadly in this game.

It seems later hardware tends to murderize astronauts much less, but then again, it flies a lot more missions. A LOT more.

doom3607 wrote:Hey, one of them made it. That's not that bad a record, considering how few we launched. The only thing I find odd about the Vostoks killing anyone was that the only person they killed was one of the two people von Evilstein wanted them to kill...

That is because, purely coincidentally, one of the men you wanted dead happened to be a good candidate for flying Vostok missions with the lowest probability of a disastrous failure.

However, you did not know or care about this, because you made up your mind that Ivanov should be dead purely on the basis of his name, when you knew nothing else about him.

Yep!

But yeah, my evil overlord was more of a massively overdone raving lunatic woth no redeeming qualities whatsoever. That about right?

To be fair, he isn't hunchbacked.

Yet.

The Bragulan at the gulag should correct that...

Johnson looked at Rex, Colonel Ravensburg, and Barnest1 (wondering with the latter if he misheard that number) and gave them all a toothy grin.

"The name's Robert Johnson, Navy test pilot and ladykiller extraordinaire, but y'all can call me Bob."

Note which I should've added before: Bob is hamming it up for laughs, although he really does believe he is completely irresistible to the female persuasion.

"All right, let me show you all around. First off, this is the security gate, they actually have security now, whereas before, it was some old guy who went to sleep and just didn't wake up. Here are the barracks, hope you like cots, because that's all we have. There's the laboratories, Mr. Von Braun and Mr. Francisco practically live in there."

They kept walking.

"Those are the launch pads, hopefully you'll all be on them one day."

They kept walking until they reached a large building, it was a hangar.

"I saved the best for last, this is where they store the things that let us fly."

Through the open doors were work crews building rockets and capsules. It was a magnificent sight, one the new potentials had not seen before.

Moosecow
The Kreamlin

Things were becoming more relaxed at the Kreamlin. After a couple days had passed since Bearznev's attempt to oust the current Premier, the NKVDVDROM was almost done with the purges of everyone disloyal.

General Nefartnyi has disappeared somewhere, nobody knew where, and was replaced as head of the NKVDVDROM. Comissar Gugylyvych was arrested and also disappeared, except with him, everyone knew where.

Comissar Spetchkov's last-minute change of heart has earned him a mere degradation instead of an outright trip to Zyberia. He would become an administrator of an automobile plant near Moosecow.

Many lesser members of the Central Comittee were also purged, and finally Shroomanski's power was unquestioned. His triumph in the Triple Stas Bush Trial had left the Premier in an unassailable position, backed not just by his authority and power apparatur, but also by commienist traidtion. The Premier was in awe how traditions, even the silliest ones, had real power - and it didn't even matter what really happened in that darkened room!

Shroomanski smiled to himself. Da. He would have to take care of just one loose end. He picked up the phone.

"Lead him in", he spoke into the receiver.

After a few seconds, two burly NKVDVDROM men lead another, short and very very very angry man into Shroomanski's office.



"Ah, comrade von Evilstein! Welcome back! I hope your stay in Moosecow is being pleasant!", Shroomanski gloated.

Doom Von Evilstein said nothing, choosing to fume instead. That Zenobian bastard! He'd get back at him, he'd get back at all of them! Whatever they do, he, von Evilstein, would survive and have his revenge! Ja!

"Da!", Shroomanski nodded to himself, "What to do with you, herr doktor? I can't fault you for trying, da, it's what I would have done after all...aha! I am feeling very good today, da? You will stay in space program! I have spoken!"

Having faced first-hand the intrigues of the Ratzi Party, and now the results of backstabbing, conniving, cheating bastardry that Zenobian corridor wars could bring, von Evilstein was suspicious. But all in all, it's not like he could do anything about it but ask...

"Was?"

"Da! You will fly down to Baikonured...of course, you understand, I cannot trust you with any actually important position, but you will work on things to make Zenobia great!"

"Warum, herr premier?", von Evilstein winced. He couldn't help but ask, he had to understand, "You have dealt with all your other enemies in a most ruthless fashion, almost worthy of Thanasian politickos!"

"Da. But you amuse me. Besides, Syrgy Pavylyvych request you stay. I guess he is merciful too! Ha! Good joke, da?"

Shroomanski gestured to the NKVDVDROM people, indicating the audience was over. Doom von Evilstein, deposed and humilitated, was loaded onto a transport plane and shipped off to Baikonurek the same night.

With him went a small package of documents. These oficially promoted Syrgy Pavylyvych to Chief Designer, removed Doom von Evilstein from his position and reinstated him as a "junior test assistant".

Below the official, neatly typed out documents was a scrawled note, in barely legible handwriting of the Premier himself.

It read:

Just keep him alive, da?

Zenobians are not scheduling any missions, correct?

Also, Murcans, I took the liberty of jotting down your research on EVA suits, since I didn't give you a status update and they're practically done (89% reliability vs. max r&D of 91%).

Zenobian EVA suits are at 60%.