The mule consented - Neal Horsley update

Zeond · Post by **Zeond** » 2005-05-14 02:48am

The Mule Consented

Neal Horsley returned to the Alan Colmes Radio Show Thursday night to defend his history of his, er, um, fancy of a certain mule in his pre-teen life of a "normal" farm boy. It was a natural occurence, he said, like that of a mutt that will hump everything warm and wet in sight. He maintained that he did not rape the mule. Horsley claimed that the mule consented and was a willing consultant in this match due to the fact that the mule was clearly a whore for accepting the gift of an ear of corn for the sexual act. Now if you are doing a double take on that piece of information, I should advise you, he really said it.

Mr. Horsley stated that it is logical and natural to engage in beastiality in today's world, comparing it to consenting gay sex. Mule-man sex is natural, and man-man sex is natural but not normal. He compared it to the paradigm of a dog humping a leg or anything it can find. All men are mutts (well DUH!) when it comes to their sexuality, The mule was just a matter of convenience for him, but it was just one mule. And I'll quote Alan on this one "At least you were a monogomist".

Alan continued the question with "if it were a washing machine would you have sexual intercourse with it?"

Horsley replied, paraphasing, "I hadn't thought about it, but I would have had sex with anything wet and warm and moved."

At this time all I could think was sending out an APB warning people to lock up their washing appliances tonight.

Horsley continued by saying that you can be forgiven for the "naturalness" of beastiality because animals are dumb and have no feelings, but those involved in homsexuality should be put in prison.
That would mean Horsley should be sitting in that prison according to his own convictions. Yes folks, most of you guessed it right, he admitted to 1 homosexual affair with a man and 2 extra-marital
affairs that resulted in pregnancies. Mr. Horsely who is staunch anti-abortion advocate, claimed tonight he had "personally seen thousands of abortions walk by him, weeping", (can I please have video
of that?), stated he had told the mistresses that they should abort the fetuses. The women didn't chose that option and decided to have the children.

Colmes brought up oral sex, asking if it was a sin between a married woman and a man. Horsley pretty much did a gallop around the
subject stating that is was not for him to judge on these matters. He follows his Bible and all the sexual references it entails as his guide. So what's his excuse for putting all the names and addresses of the abortionists on his website? I'm not judging you if you accidentally show up on their door and threaten their life?

Tonight it dawned on me, after going through 12 years of Catholic School and studying the Bible, I must have been reading the kinkiest and most erotic sexual manual on the planet all those years.
The Bible is about sex, sex, sex.

Trotting to the barnyard........

Posted by Dee, edited by Ellen

Thanks so much Dee!

Hear the part of the interview here: ++http://www.foxnews.com/alancolmesradio/
This guy is unreal. The newshounds article does not do justice to this fundie asshat's fucktardness. His personal quote should be "if it's warm and it moves, i'll have sex with it"

uhmm... yeah right, somehow the mule was able to give consent by accepting an ear of corn

Stofsk · Post by **Stofsk** » 2005-05-14 03:33am

I love it. Beastiality is natural, but homosexuality isn't. Poor Mule.

I am getting royally sick and tired of the fundies equating beastiality with gay sex, with the tired old slippery slope of "Legalise gay marriage and you will eventually legalise beastiality!" Now it's the reverse: "Fucking a mule is A-OK, but fucking a man ought to earn you prison time!"

And the boundary between dreams and reality continue to blur...

Thinkmarble · Post by **Thinkmarble** » 2005-05-14 03:40am

Truth is stranger then fiction, cause fiction has to make sense.

Who said that ?

SPOOFE · Post by **SPOOFE** » 2005-05-14 05:18am

I wonder if this is all one giant publicity stunt on his part. Or a hoax, or something. It's too fucking funny to be true.

Oh man. Oh... man.

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2005-05-14 06:33am

He who drips with the genital excretions of "Consenting Animals" wrote:Horsley continued by saying that you can be forgiven for the "naturalness" of beastiality because animals are dumb and have no feelings, but those involved in homsexuality should be put in prison.

Too idiotic to be real...aren't there worthy people in need of his organs?

2000AD · Post by **2000AD** » 2005-05-14 06:37am

There's no way that is real. No way.

If it is then my entire perception of what is real or not will be completely and irreervsibly shattered .... again.

Sharp-kun · Post by **Sharp-kun** » 2005-05-14 07:29am

XD

Thats my only reaction.

Lord Zentei · Post by **Lord Zentei** » 2005-05-14 07:53am

This dumbass keeps digging his hole. If he has any credibility whatsoever left with those fools who voted him into Congress, I will be astounded.

"The mule consented" ROTFL!

PeZook · Post by **PeZook** » 2005-05-14 08:45am

Well, it is kinda hard to rape a mule...

Patrick Degan · Post by **Patrick Degan** » 2005-05-14 01:08pm

Lord Zentai wrote:This dumbass keeps digging his hole. If he has any credibility whatsoever left with those fools who voted him into Congress, I will be astounded.

"The mule consented" ROTFL!

Sadly, I think it's about 50/50 that Mulefucker Horseley would be reelected by the voters in his district.

felineki · Post by **felineki** » 2005-05-14 01:31pm

The animal... consented?

Uh... right.

And his argument about beastiality vs. homosexuality is BS. Animals definitely DO have feelings, not necessarily as complex as ours, but they do notice when something unpleasant is being done to them. As for the "dumb" angle, I suppose he's right, but if anything this would make beastiality worse, seeing as the animal lacks the intelligence to truly understand what is going on, the possible consequences, and give consent... Whereas adult humans of the same sex are perfectly capable of such.

CmdrWilkens · Post by **CmdrWilkens** » 2005-05-14 01:37pm

I'm laughing my ass off about his watermelon comment. You have to listen to the actual broadcast because nothing compares to that kind of delusional neurosis live (or at least close to live).

Mitth`raw`nuruodo · Post by **Mitth`raw`nuruodo** » 2005-05-14 02:22pm

I'm beginning to think this cannot be true. I keep expecting this guy to come on the radio again and say "ha, just kidding!"

Darth Yoshi · Post by **Darth Yoshi** » 2005-05-14 06:32pm

Frank Hipper wrote:Too idiotic to be real...aren't there worthy people in need of his organs?

The stupidity would infect them.

But seriously, I thought this was a joke article at first.

Nieztchean Uber-Amoeba · Post by **Nieztchean Uber-Amoeba** » 2005-05-14 06:37pm

This... This is just too bizarre.

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2005-05-14 07:17pm

So let me get this straight. This guy says he didn't have sex with the mule, the whole thing is just a publicity stunt to try and compare bestiality to gay marriage?

Either way, I'm pretty sure he did fuck that mule.

Aaron · Post by **Aaron** » 2005-05-14 07:36pm

Joe wrote:So let me get this straight. This guy says he didn't have sex with the mule, the whole thing is just a publicity stunt to try and compare bestiality to gay marriage?

Either way, I'm pretty sure he did fuck that mule.

Apperently he also got kicked in the head by it at some point in time too.

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2005-05-14 07:38pm

Cpl Kendall wrote:
Joe wrote:So let me get this straight. This guy says he didn't have sex with the mule, the whole thing is just a publicity stunt to try and compare bestiality to gay marriage?

Either way, I'm pretty sure he did fuck that mule.
Apperently he also got kicked in the head by it at some point in time too.

Again I recommend you all check out his website here. The boy is definitely a little bit insane.

Aaron · Post by **Aaron** » 2005-05-14 07:51pm

Joe wrote:[

Again I recommend you all check out his website here. The boy is definitely a little bit insane.

None of that crap even makes sense.

Molyneux · Post by **Molyneux** » 2005-05-14 08:00pm

felineki wrote:The animal... consented? Uh... right.

And his argument about beastiality vs. homosexuality is BS. Animals definitely DO have feelings, not necessarily as complex as ours, but they do notice when something unpleasant is being done to them. As for the "dumb" angle, I suppose he's right, but if anything this would make beastiality worse, seeing as the animal lacks the intelligence to truly understand what is going on, the possible consequences, and give consent... Whereas adult humans of the same sex are perfectly capable of such.

Not to mention, apparently he's a little confused on the concept of "consent"...

Bestiality = statutory rape, as in sex that is considered rape because one partner is incapable of giving consent.

That's the way I see it, anyway.

M/M sex = consentual sex between two humans with all the rights and privileges thereof.

Master of Ossus · Post by **Master of Ossus** » 2005-05-15 02:36am

This guy is absolutely nuts. There are simply no two ways about it. If stupidity was a crime, he'd be a felon SO many times over.

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2005-05-15 10:20am

Wow. He mananged to find an excuse even stupider than "Well, at least it was a female mule." I can imagine that it would be really, really humiliating to be the person that loses to him in a future election.

The Spartan · Post by **The Spartan** » 2005-05-15 10:30am

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:Wow. He mananged to find an excuse even stupider than "Well, at least it was a female mule." I can imagine that it would be really, really humiliating to be the person that loses to him in a future election.

Are you kidding? After this, Ted Bundy could win the election against him and he's been dead for, what, 10 years?

This guy is so batshit insane that my 1 year old and not yet 2 year old goddaughters could win against him, simply by virtue of their Cuteness Quotient. My not quite 3 year old godson could win against him simply by holding up is Winnie the Pooh bear and yelling POOH!!!

I mean, how the fuck do you decide that bestiality is somehow okay and natural but homosexuality deserves prison time? Publicity stunt or not, he's off his fucking rocker. We need to get him a nice warm jacket, you know, one of the ones that let's you hug yourself. "Don't worry Mr. Horsley *snicker* teh 3v17 gayz won't hurt you anymore..."

Lord Zentei · Post by **Lord Zentei** » 2005-05-15 10:33am

++http://www.christiangallery.com/mule.gif

Uh, right. But I thought that God hated homosexuals. Go figure.

The Spartan · Post by **The Spartan** » 2005-05-15 10:56am

Lord Zentei wrote:Uh, right. But I thought that God hated homosexuals. Go figure.

What's more, from the Book of Leviticus:
20:15 And if a man lie with a beast, he shall surely be put to death: and ye shall slay the beast.
20:16 And if a woman approach unto any beast, and lie down thereto, thou shalt kill the woman, and the beast: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

So, if you screw a mule you're supposed to be put to death. Which, incidentally is the same punishment set aside for homosexuals.

Again from the Book of Leviticus:
20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.