Man Severs Penis; throws it at Po-Po

MKSheppard · Post by **MKSheppard** » 2006-03-17 03:57pm

Man severs own penis, throws it at officers

March 17, 2006

BY ERIC HERMAN Staff Reporter

Before cops threw the book at him, Jakub Fik threw something unusual at them -- his penis.

Fik, 33, cut off his own penis during a Northwest Side rampage Wednesday morning. When confronted by police, Fik hurled several knives and his severed organ at the officers, police said. Officers stunned him with a Taser and took him into custody.

"We took him out without any serious injury, with the exception of his own," said Chicago Police Sgt. Edward Dolan of the 16th District.

Doctors at Northwestern Memorial Hospital reattached Fik's penis Wednesday, sources said. He was listed in good condition Thursday, according to hospital spokesman Andrew Buchanan, who declined to comment further.

Fik, who lives in the 5400 block of W. Berenice, is charged with two counts of aggravated assault and one count of criminal damage to property, said Officer Laura Kubiak. He told paramedics he was distraught over problems with his girlfriend in Poland, Dolan said.

Police arrived on Fik's block at 8:20 a.m. Wednesday after receiving reports he was smashing car windows, Dolan said. Fik then broke into a house down the block. A group of six or seven officers assembled in front of the house, Dolan said.

The occupants were not home, he added.

Fik was bleeding when the officers arrived and may have already cut off his organ, Dolan said.

"At that point, this guy came running out, naked, with a handful of knives . . . and started throwing knives at the police officers that were 10, 20, 30 feet away," Dolan said.

Fik threw his penis during the confrontation, too, Dolan said. He then went back into the house and re-emerged with "another handful of knives," Dolan said.

Dolan sneaked to the side of the bungalow's front steps and stunned Fik with the Taser. Fik fought back when officers went to restrain him, Dolan said.

"About 10 feet from the front porch, right on the sidewalk, was his penis," Dolan said.

Dr. Greg Bales, associate professor of urology at the University of Chicago, said severed penises are uncommon but surgery usually works.

"As long as the penis is placed on ice and reattached within a few hours, the success is usually pretty good," Bales said.

Jadeite · Post by **Jadeite** » 2006-03-17 04:35pm

I'd love to know what the thought process that goes through the mind of people like him is when they do something like that.

MKSheppard · Post by **MKSheppard** » 2006-03-17 04:37pm

Crystal Meth, probably.

Azazal · Post by **Azazal** » 2006-03-17 04:39pm

Why did they reattach it, obviously this man was trying to remove himself from the gene pool, they should have obliged.

wolveraptor · Post by **wolveraptor** » 2006-03-17 04:41pm

He was clearly high...highly hilarious, oh!

General Zod · Post by **General Zod** » 2006-03-17 05:01pm

Azazal wrote:Why did they reattach it, obviously this man was trying to remove himself from the gene pool, they should have obliged.

It's probably a safe bet that he won't be getting any type of serious erections any time soon after chopping it off. The nerve damage might be a bit too much for that type of activity.

Shroom Man 777 · Post by **Shroom Man 777** » 2006-03-17 11:48pm

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2006-03-17 11:50pm

What city?

Kamakazie Sith · Post by **Kamakazie Sith** » 2006-03-17 11:56pm

When it comes to drugs some people don't know the cut off point.

brianeyci · Post by **brianeyci** » 2006-03-18 12:07am

He's lucky he wasn't shot. He could have been a knife throwing expert and the knives in his hands could have been throwing knives. Hell even if he didn't throw them police would have been justified drawing their weapons.

Brian

felineki · Post by **felineki** » 2006-03-18 01:33am

brianeyci wrote:He's lucky he wasn't shot. He could have been a knife throwing expert and the knives in his hands could have been throwing knives. Hell even if he didn't throw them police would have been justified drawing their weapons.

Brian

Luckily, what he did end up throwing at them wasn't quite as dangerous.

mr friendly guy · Post by **mr friendly guy** » 2006-03-18 01:42am

felineki wrote:
brianeyci wrote:He's lucky he wasn't shot. He could have been a knife throwing expert and the knives in his hands could have been throwing knives. Hell even if he didn't throw them police would have been justified drawing their weapons.

Brian
Luckily, what he did end up throwing at them wasn't quite as dangerous.

But don't you realise. Naked body parts are dangerous but weapons like guns are normal. Thats why the latter is allowed and the former gets bitched about by conservatives.

Jason von Evil · Post by **Jason von Evil** » 2006-03-18 02:03am

Assault with a deadly phallice?

Death from the Sea · Post by **Death from the Sea** » 2006-03-18 02:04am

Einhander Sn0m4n wrote:What city?

Chicago. as the Chigaco PD were the ones in the article

Erik von Nein · Post by **Erik von Nein** » 2006-03-18 04:17am

Kamakazie Sith wrote:When it comes to drugs some people don't know the cut off point.

This man did ... when he cut off his penis.

Bu-dum, chi!

Metatwaddle · Post by **Metatwaddle** » 2006-03-18 04:36am

Jesus H. Christ.

Metrion Cascade · Post by **Metrion Cascade** » 2006-03-18 06:15am

Kamakazie Sith wrote:When it comes to drugs some people don't know the cut off point.

Apparently he found out...

Kamakazie Sith · Post by **Kamakazie Sith** » 2006-03-18 09:52am

Metrion Cascade wrote:
Erik von Nein wrote: This man did ... when he cut off his penis. Bu-dum, chi!
Apparently he found out...

KS for the assist!

This guy is really going to be one of those people who wakes up the next morning and says "What the fuck did I do last night!!!!!!"

Thag · Post by **Thag** » 2006-03-18 01:21pm

Followed closely by, "Why am I pissing sideways?"

Rye · Post by **Rye** » 2006-03-18 01:46pm

Well, can't fault him for trying, I guess.

Though really the title should be "Person Parts Penis: Pelts Police".