Nork Football Coach Reprimanded for Ideological Shortcomings

[Shroom Man 777]

The North Korean football team have reportedly been severely reprimanded after losing all three of their games at the World Cup in South Africa.

Kim Jong-Hun, the coach, and his team were summoned to the People's Palace of Culture in the capital, Pyongyang for a dressing down on July 2, US-based Radio Free Asia reported on Thursday.

Myong Chol, the sports minister, was among about 400 government officials, students and athletes that too part in the six-hour session, the report said.

Players were forced to reprimand their coach at the end of the gathering, it said.

Kim Jong-Hun was also apparently made to work on a building site and expelled from the Workers' Party of Korea.

The criticism at the meeting was led by Ri Dong-Kyu, a commentator for state TV, which made the 7-0 drubbing at the hands of Portugal its first ever live sports broadcast.

The decision to show the game live came in the wake of an encouraging 2-1 defeat to Brazil. North Korea lost their final game 3-0 to Ivory Coast.

The Radio Free Asia report cited two unidentified sources in North Korea and a Chinese businessman named Yu, described as knowledgeable about North Korea affairs.

South Korea's National Intelligence Service said it could not immediately confirm the report.

'Ideological shortcomings'

However, the Chosun Ilbo newspaper quoted a South Korean intelligence source as saying: "In the past, North Korean athletes and coaches who performed badly were sent to prison camps.

"Considering the high hopes North Koreans had for the World Cup, the regime could have done worse things to the team than just reprimand them for their ideological shortcomings."

North Korea was competing in only its second World Cup in 44 years.

Pak Du Ik, who led his country to the quarterfinals in England in 1966, had previously told television news agency APTN that the team would receive a warm welcome in Pyongyang despite their lack of success.

"Now when the Korean team gets home, officials and crowds of people will go to the airport to welcome them," he said.

"We have learned a lesson from the three World Cup matches, we accumulated experience and we found an answer to how to improve our football."

Ideological shortcomings! Man, that's so horrible of them, yet I find it very hilarious. Except, you know, it's damn horrible for the coach and the team, and for the North Koreans as a whole, that their country is so fucked up like that.

[K. A. Pital]

Why reprimand sportsmen, though? Shouldn't you send your sports minister to a prison camp instead? *laughs*

I suggest our sports ministers should be sent to the DPRK for "correction". The miserable failure on the Olympics coupled with looting and getting drunk just makes me want them to land in DPRK-land instead of Russia where they can continue to loot, drink, fuck and spend state money on luxuries.

[CJvR]

Why reprimand sportsmen, though? Shouldn't you send your sports minister to a prison camp instead?

Now that would be unfair! The minister afterall had a good plan, go there a win. It was the players and coaches who failed to follow the plan that needs punishment.

[Twigler]

I'm actually surprised we haven't heard about the ideological shortcomings of the person who decided to do this:

The criticism at the meeting was led by Ri Dong-Kyu, a commentator for state TV, which made the 7-0 drubbing at the hands of Portugal its first ever live sports broadcast.

Although he'll probably claims that his plan was perfect and that the lack of revolutionary fervour of the sports team is to blame.

Players were forced to reprimand their coach at the end of the gathering, it said.

That's probably the lowest point. A bunch of politico weirdoes who don't know anything bitching is one thing, but I really doubt that the players would done this if they weren't forced.
Makes you wonder why they bothered going back to be honest.

[Shroom Man 777]

It's like how in 1984 they forced Winston to give up his lover, except this time its in a team sports context where their de-education is culminated in forsaking their beloved coach and mentor. Man, Clint Eastwood should've made Invictus about the North Koreans instead of Apartheid South Africa and Nelson Shroomdela. It would make for an excellent sports movie, like part Mighty Ducks and part... Schindler's List or something. Throw in some Space Jam for when they perform before Kim Il Sung before going to the World Cup.

[CJvR]

That's probably the lowest point. A bunch of politico weirdoes who don't know anything bitching is one thing, but I really doubt that the players would done this if they weren't forced.
Makes you wonder why they bothered going back to be honest.

Family hostages. Although it is a step up from Iraq under Saddam when the returning team was whipped.

[Spekio]

They went to world cup. Just to be there is something of praise, already.
Is there any hope a revolution might come along?

[Akhlut]

They went to world cup. Just to be there is something of praise, already.
Is there any hope a revolution might come along?

Kim Jong Il apparently has late stage cancer and is on death's door, from everything I've heard. So, there is a hope of his death bringing something better around. Although, he's apparently planned for one of his sons to succeed him once he dies, and his son is at least as autocratic as Kim Jong Il and Kim Il Sung, if not moreso.

[Skylon]

They have a sports minister?

That sounds like the dream job of every Coors Light guzzling, armchair quarterback, co-worker who can't shut the fuck up about sports.

If it wasn't North Korea anyway.

[Lusankya]

Australia has a Sports Minister too. She's a right idiot, but will make a fine career politician who toes the party line.

It's not just a position for members of crazy pariah governments!

[Isolder74]

The North Korean Team's players looked so small next to the others. Did they expect the players to suddenly gain superpowers and win? They didn't look like they had a chance to start with then when the obvious happens they do this.

Yes North Korea is insane.

[Twoyboy]

Australia has a Sports Minister too. She's a right idiot, but will make a fine career politician who toes the party line.

Who cares, she's hot...

[Kanastrous]

The North Korean Team's players looked so small next to the others. Did they expect the players to suddenly gain superpowers and win?

Yes, they expected precisely that. Because the Korean people are the best people in the world and all other peoples are inferior (although the Japanese are apparently not quite so inferior as everyone else...but then again that's not who they lost, to).

[HarrionGreyjoy]

Wait, wait, wait. The Japanese? THOSE Japanese? I thought both sets of Koreans (and, to a lesser degree, the rest of Asia) were still a little miffed over that whole World War Two thing.

And Korea over a slightly longer history than that.

Though I guess "conquered us on multiple occasions to the point where there was a special social niche for 'Korean minion'" might make it a little hard for even the DPRK to file a nationality as just the normal sort of inferior.

[Kanastrous]

Long story short - and this is from a remembered talk on the topic, so I will have to read up and check my memory - during Japan's occupation of Korea they transmitted to the Koreans the idea that the Japanese were the 'master race' types and that the Koreans were the first runners-up (and therefore superior to everyone in Asia - or on the planet - except Japanese people). After the Japanese were expelled, Kim Il Sung developed the idea further and substituted the Koreans in the top spot. Koreans are the smartest, the strongest, the most moral, creative, etc people - which conveniently dovetails with the horrible conditions in NK: of course the rest of the world's inferior people are in a gigantic conspiracy to keep the superior Korean people from enjoying their proper place in the scheme of things, which is the *real* reason that NK is backwards, starving, and broke.

So it's run-of-the-mill master-race drivel, together with a nation-sized persecution complex.

Assuming I remember the talk correctly.

[K. A. Pital]

Yeah, the split went as far as Kim saying that North Koreans are superior to... South Koreans. Racially or something.

[Kanastrous]

They're Northier.

[Molyneux]

I really have to wonder why North Korea is allowed to complete in the Olympics, if this is the kind of shit they pull when they lose.

[Big Orange]

My brief personal experience with Koreans - much like what I've heard about Ukrainians - is that they seem to have a big chip on their collective shoulder about their standing in the world and dislike being confused with the almost identical (culturally and ethnically) Japanese (or the Russians in Ukraine's case). Even if they were legitimately hard done by under the harsh rule of their stronger cousins in the recent past, with many avoidable deaths, their whining in recent years still gets annoying especially in light of some Koreans being quislings in the IJA and IJN during WWII and Ukrainians like Nikita Khrushchev becoming ruler of the Soviet Union. The Korean Gunzoku auxiliaries were particularily disliked by American and British Empire POWs and SK dictator Park Chung-hee served in the Manchukuo Army.

[CJvR]

In addition to getting yelled at for hours it seems as if the coach have been reassigned to a new job... working 14h days as a construction worker - and he has been expelled from the North Korean workers party ( cant have smelly workers in the party! )

[Prannon]

I figured that something like this would happen, although I'm a little surprised that the Korean players got off so easily. I honestly thought that every last one of them would have been sent to prison camps with their entire families. It's possible that they haven't done that because they showed all the players playing live on TV, and they can't just make them "disappear" so easily.

Still, you can bet that everyone one of those players is going to be living in a hell far greater than average, because they've seen the outer world that most North Koreans haven't.

[Patrick Degan]

I figured that something like this would happen, although I'm a little surprised that the Korean players got off so easily. I honestly thought that every last one of them would have been sent to prison camps with their entire families. It's possible that they haven't done that because they showed all the players playing live on TV, and they can't just make them "disappear" so easily.

Sure the government could disappear the team. After all, who'd risk complaining about it, and to whom would they complain? Though I'd expect the authorities would wait until after the World Cup's faded from public memory (probably something the public's been given lots of training in over the decades) before carrying out the arrests.

[tim31]

I really have to wonder why North Korea is allowed to complete in the Olympics, if this is the kind of shit they pull when they lose.

Answer:

Still, you can bet that everyone one of those players is going to be living in a hell far greater than average, because they've seen the outer world that most North Koreans haven't.

The continuing hope is to get enough people to 'see the light'. Never going to happen, sadly.

[mr friendly guy]

If they want to see "the light" they just need to look across the border into China. The fact that the Chinese side lights up (no pun intended) while the NK side remains dark during the night should clue them in on something. They could also try doing the same across the South but they most probably won't see far into the DMZ.

[ray245]

I wonder how would this affect the performance of the NK team in the upcoming Asia cup.