You are in charge of the Borg in the Star Wars universe.

[Aaron]

Wow. I didn't know this idiot was still around.

Yeah, he's been on SFJ for a while. I got a good chuckle out of the SW VS ST in Five Minutes parody he did with the ship he pulled from Memory Gamma.

[Batman]

Oh I pretty much assumed him hanging around ST fanwank fora somewhere. I just didn't expect him to still be around HERE.

[DudeGuyMan]

Starting Planet: Tatooine (just because I can't think of any other planets that aren't Corisaunt or Naboo. If you would prefer to start on another planet then feel free to assume you start there.

1) Begin on Coruscant, specifically somewhere in the vast undercity that no one important gives a damn about. Chuck the entire canon Borg paradigm out the window, because those guys were idiots.

2) Start by assimilating the equivalent of sewer rats for use as discreet carriers of nanoprobes. I can't think of any good reason a smart Borg couldn't do this. Assimilated nonsentients won't be able to contribute much processing power to my collective, but they should be able to execute relatively simple directives.

3) Give them basic instructions to go out and start injecting every organism they find, sentient or otherwise, with nanoprobes. Even as they disappear down said organism's gullet, if need be. Restrict this activity to the lower levels where I'm unlikely to draw any official attention.

4) Dig in. Settle firmly and widely into the most ancient foundations of Coruscant, such that complete eradication of my collective becomes nearly impossible without destroying the planet.

5) Do NOT attack the surface in a zombie horde. Instead focus on discreetly getting nanoprobes offworld where the process can begin again. Slip some nanoprobes into foodstuffs being transported, get an assimilated stowaway aboard a ship, whatever it takes. Any unit which is caught/detected will self-terminate. I doubt anyone will really piece together the magnitude of exactly what is going on from finding a few weird dead cyborgs here and there.

6) Focus on becoming an impossible-to-remove infection of galactic civilization. Spread far and wide into weird places no one is likely to come looking. Assimilate small/obscure segments of the biosphere on various planets. Establish small infrastructure bases in out of the way places, on otherwise uninhabited planets if possible. Maybe by assimilating little unoffical squatter colonies like what Captain Needa thought the Hoth base might be in ESB.

7) Zombie uprising at the moment of maximum advantage, when most of the forces that can destroy me are occupied fighting... whatever war is going on by the time I reach this stage. At this point I should be so dispersed and entrenched that even a defeat of my uprising won't mean the end for my collective.

8) Even if I can't take over the universe, the universe can't kill me. The Borg find a permanent place as the cockroaches of the backwaters of the galaxy. Oh well, it beats pulling up in a cube and going "WE ARE THE BORG, PREPARE TO-- BLARGH!" as an ISD vaporizes me.

[DudeGuyMan]

No comment on my Guerilla Borg idea? Because I was thinking, why do I want to take over the universe at all? Why can't I wait in the undercity until the NR comes to power, make up some sob-story about how a mad scientist invented nanoprobes and flushed them down the toilet and that's why we exist, and just announce myself to the galaxy?

I'll become like the civilized capitalist Borg in Chuck Sonnenburg's fic. I'll turn my section of the undercity into a clean and orderly place, designed with some aesthetic sense, that people are welcome to visit. I'll use Borg techniques to manufacture inexpensive consumer electronics. I'll pay my taxes.

I'll advertise for people to come join the glorious Borg collective, but only if they really want to. With the population of the SW galaxy, even if only a depressed/crazy/idealist millionth of a percent of anyone even considers the idea, I'll be able to easily sustain my population. I can have all the biological and technological distinctiveness I want, without getting vaped by an ISD or something.

[Sela]

I think this OP really doesn't come off so much like the borg at all. I mean, there's going to be precisely ZERO in the way of adaptation of technology. We already know that Star Trek's borg can barely reverse engineer the complex technologies of their own universe (No Data assimilation, No S8472 assimilation, No machine-gun, etc.). As a result, the idea that they might be able to assimilate the technology of the Star Wars universe is quite out of the question.

Now, we've never seen the Borg fail to assimilate an organic individual, and in so doing gain access to their knowledge and life experience. This is very strong in that it grants a level of control over each individual and makes them all an asset to the collective. The way to make this work, then, would be to re-imagine the borg entirely. Since you're the new uber-queen progenitor, modify it so that being Borg entails ZERO implants/cybernetic-ness. All being borg does is near-transparent neural-link done subdermally. That, and maybe a nanoprobe injecting tube tied to your fingers. That, and mabye a quick memory-wipe of the event of being stuck by nanoprobes.

And from there it's just a matter of being super-sneaky like. Instead of trying to conquer via military conquest, just take ownership of the whole damn thing. Whenever someone is assimilated, his orders are to go on with his life as if nothing is changed. The hive-mind effectively using the wet-ware of millions of organic beings to . . . be themselves. And yet at any time able to take control. Only one directive: if ever you're alone with another person where you can't be observed - STICK him with the probes.

Now you've got effectively a brilliant virus. And you, like typhoid mary, can go from world to world spreading it. Further, whenever you want, step into someone else's mind and use their body as your active body. Effectively you're unkillable unless EVERY LAST infected individual is killed. With any luck, you'll eventually have one of your feelers' feelers run into a world with some tradesman who's going to coruscant. . . and from there you start massively infecting whole cities. With any luck you get a CIS/Clone army 'grunt' and quickly mass-infect their entire platoon . . . and when they're cycled to different areas, planets, or units, you'll always have eyes ears and nanoprobes at the hot-bed of conflict.

If you ever get a diplomat, possess his body to try and get in touch with the Jedi Council or the Senate. . . The goal is to spread far enough that elimination becomes near impossible.

[Sela]

And now I see that DudeGuyman and me have the exact same idea.

[Oskuro]

1) Get money <- Hard Part
2) Go to the nearest den of scum and villainy
3) Hire a hooker
4) Nanoprobes propagate as an STD (because with all the freaky aliens on SW, I doubt a few cyber enhancements will prevent the hooker from... hooking up)
5) Use my newly acquired army of prostitutes and miscreants to build the most outrageously cube-shaped brothel in the Galaxy
6) Profit!

[HSRTG]

For the people talking about going to the local Imperials...there aren't any.

just after the start of the Clone Wars.

It's still the Old Republic.

As for what I would do? It depends on where I start. Obviously, I have no cash, no ID, and no real clue about the society I just got dumped in. No, the movies don't help with the basic logistics of, you know, life. I may or may not be able to even speak the damn language, and I'm definitely illiterate. Also, I'm uneducated both culturally and academically. Depending on word spelling I'll probably be able to fix the literacy problem with some time and access to books.

Anything definite depends on where I start. If I get the chance, I'll definitely assimilate someone who isn't typically medically scanned to fix the gaping holes in my knowledge and get a base to start from.

Conquest is out of the picture entirely, unless I can pull off some truly spectacular bullshit (We're talking Star Wars Von Neumann's in a decent chunk of galaxy here, and assuming that any number of players don't come fuck me up). I'll settle for being a small weird-ass semi-religious cult somewhere that's hopefully off the radar of a major player.

EDIT: Tatooine. Well, assuming I don't die in the desert I'll try to assimilate some farmers and work my way from there. Granted, I'll probably end up dead.

And shit I think I necroed. Fuck. Well, I'm sorry, guys. It wasn't halfway down the page and I didn't look. My bad.

[darth borlaug]

E (optional) ) Get our borgy hands on some midichlorians. Since more midichlorians apparently equals more force power, create planet-sized organism chock-full of the things.

I've always wondered about Borg nanoprobe's ability to assimilate midichlorians, assuming this was possible (there is at least one species in trek whose DNA the Borg couldn't assimilate without help).

I'm not sure whether it's the midiclorians that can influence the force or the other way around (my knowledge of the EU is limited, though from the prequels I've been led to believe that it's a two way street), could the possibility of a unicomplex full of weaponized midiclorians be used by the Borg to manipulate the force?