Neelix and the Voyager crew vs Jar Jar Binks and the Gungan

[Rossum]

Two Random Ominopotent Beings decide to stage a fight for fun.
The first one summons Neelix and the Voyager as his champion and the second one summons General Jar Jar Binks and the Gungans.

The two sides meet on a custom made planet identical to modern day Earth but with no people on it (it has all the buildings, items, and animals on it but it looks like all the humans left) and they have to compete in three rounds.

1). Jar Jar Binks and five Gungan warriors vs Neelix and five members of the Voyager crew face off in a fight to the death (or until all the members of one side surrender). Each individual can bring as much of their equipment as they can carry on their person. They are both given maps of the Earth Copy, access to Wikipedia, and 24 hours to agree on a place to hold their fight... if they don't agree on a place then the ROBs send them to the BBC gravel quarry. They can also use items or weapons they find laying around on the Earth Copy in addition to their own equipment.

2). Jar Jar Binks and Neelix fight one on one at a place of their choosing with their chosen weapons and whatever they can find on the Earth Copy. Fight to the death or until one surrenders... or one or both of them dies of natural causes.

3). The whole Voyager crew and an equivalent number of Gungan warriors face off at a place of their mutual choosing. This time they can bring whatever vehicles they have (the Voyager crew isn't allowed to use the transporter on the Gungans and they can't bring the Voyager ship itself into the conflict since orbital bombardments on gungans aren't fun to watch. They can however use their shuttlecraft or delta flyer and can use the transporters to move their own crew around). All the strategic planning should be done by Neelix or Jar Jar Binks. Fight to the death, surrender, or death by natural causes.


Everyone involved gets resurrected and/or healed after each round and after the battle the ROBs send them straight home. The Gungans are basically limited to the force they used in The Phantom Menage (unless they have other equipment from the cartoon or novels) while Voyager has access to all the crew members and personnel equipment they had throughout the series. Whoever wins will get one wish granted by the ROBs... as in either Neelix or Jar Jar get to make the wish while everyone else has to wait and see what happens (the ROBs grant the wish to the best of their abilities unless its something like "Infinite Wishes" in which case they give them a pile of fish and tell them to get lost).


So, which side would win in a battle and what would the victor wish for?

[The Romulan Republic]

Scenario one: Depends on what sort of ranged weapons the Gungans have (greater range/power than phasers?) and weather they can close to melee range.

Scenario two: Tough call. Neelix is probably less clumsy (even if he is annoying), but Jar-Jar has an uncanny knack for winning by dumb luck.

Scenario three: Likely depends on weather a Gungan theatre shield can stop the Delta Flyer's weapons. If yes, Gungans probably win. If no, Voyager most likely wins.

[hunter5]

Situation one: Going with the Gungans for this one given the countless times the crew of voyager has carelessly walked into an ambush.

Situation two: Jar Jar as Neelix has surrendered every time the situation looks remotely dangerous.

Situation Three: This could be a good fight but the gundans lack of air will hurt them.

[Temujin]

Scenario one: Gungans They seemed semi-competent and brave enough against the battle droids. Neelix and crew of the SS Fuckup have consistently shown neither. An in relation to hunter5's comment, the Gungans will probably be able to set up an ambush will Starfleet bumbles around trying to identify shit with their tricorders.

Scenario Two: Jar Jar. While Talaxians are supposed to be stocky and rather muscular, and otherwise physically fit for combat (drones) according to the Borg, we know flat out that Neelix is an incompetent coward who at best spazzes in response to danger. Jar Jar demonstrated better physical prowess despite being a clumsy coward, as well as some legitimate, if minor, bravery.

Scenario Three: Voyager Crew. Ordinarily I would say the Gungans take it, but air power alone should be enough to provide Voyager the win even with Neelix's planning.

[lord Martiya]

1)Gungans. They're more competent than anyone on the Voyager. Tuvok may give them problems, but he's more probable to shoot Neelix in the back.
2)Well, on one side we have Neelix, whose species is supposed to be physically fit for combat but is an incompetent coward, on the other side we have Jar Jar Binks, a goof with incredible luck and more competence. I say that Jar Jar wins. Even without a real fight if he somehow can induce Neelix to choose a lake as place of the fight.
3)Sorry, airpower wins. Even if Neelix fails to just use a shuttle-launched torpedo, the shuttle/Delta Flyer pilot may do it, or even disintegrate the ground under the Gungans with phasers. After all, the scenario doesn't forbid the individual Gungans or members of the crew to think, and if Janeway sneak her way on the shuttle...

[Temujin]

... and if Janeway sneak her way on the shuttle...

That gives me a great image of Janeway blasting Gungans from the air while laughing maniacally.

[BLACKSUN2000]

... and if Janeway sneak her way on the shuttle...

That gives me a great image of Janeway blasting Gungans from the air while laughing maniacally.

Only to be blasted out of the air by this..

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Raaptur

Unlike starfleet, gungans have their biowank equivalent tanks, bombers,submersibles, anti-aircraft weapons.

So I'll give the Gungans a little more credit in this scenario.

Also can phasers punch through the gungans energy shields? Personal or otherwise?

[Temujin]

Only to be blasted out of the air by this..

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Raaptur

Unlike starfleet, gungans have their biowank equivalent tanks, bombers,submersibles, anti-aircraft weapons.

So I'll give the Gungans a little more credit in this scenario.

I was going off only what I saw in TPM (my knowledge of the EU is limited). While I figured the catapults and slings might get a lucky hit, I didn't think they would be wholly effective.

Also can phasers punch through the gungans energy shields? Personal or otherwise?

That's a good question, because if they can stay under the shield umbrella, they have a much greater advantage. I would say yes considering the battledroids couldn't puncture the shield, and had to actually enter the shield to fight. The only real question would be if the micro-photorps the Delta Flyer carries are strong enough to penetrate.

[BLACKSUN2000]

I was going off only what I saw in TPM (my knowledge of the EU is limited). While I figured the catapults and slings might get a lucky hit, I didn't think they would be wholly effective.

Yeah if you read the link it says the Raaptur can shoot down air speeders, they also arent catapults or slings.

[Temujin]

I was going off only what I saw in TPM (my knowledge of the EU is limited). While I figured the catapults and slings might get a lucky hit, I didn't think they would be wholly effective.

Yeah if you read the link it says the Raaptur can shoot down air speeders, they also arent catapults or slings.

No, the catapults and slings I was referring to were what we saw in the movie only. I wish they had something like the Raaptur (as well as droid speeders) in the movie battle, it would have made for a much more realistic and exciting battle.

[BLACKSUN2000]

So in otherwords Janeway fails her bloodthirsty attack run?

Reason1: The Gungans fight behind shields and can shoot down speeders AND spacecraft with their raaptur's?

Reason2: Even if the Voyager crew can get behind cover the Gungans can arc their weapons, which tend to splatter electrified goo evrywhere.

Who ordered the extra-crispy Talaxian with a side order of deep fried vulcan ears?

[Temujin]

So in otherwords Janeway fails her bloodthirsty attack run?

Reason1: The Gungans fight behind shields and can shoot down speeders AND spacecraft with their raaptur's?

Reason2: Even if the Voyager crew can get behind cover the Gungans can arc their weapons, which tend to splatter electrified goo evrywhere.

Who ordered the extra-crispy Talaxian with a side order of deep fried vulcan ears?

Not only that, now I have an even better image of Janeway plastering herself against the Gungan shield after the Delta Flyer gets blasted.

Of course, she'll be sure to have her personal bitch Harry right along side her as she goes down in flames.

[lord Martiya]

... and if Janeway sneak her way on the shuttle...

That gives me a great image of Janeway blasting Gungans from the air while laughing maniacally.

Only to be blasted out of the air by this..

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Raaptur

Unlike starfleet, gungans have their biowank equivalent tanks, bombers,submersibles, anti-aircraft weapons.

So I'll give the Gungans a little more credit in this scenario.

Ouch. Well, in this case I tend to give them more credit: if the crew decides against shooting that torpedo, Gungans win this one too.

[Imperial528]

1. The Voyager crew will get themselves killed before hand (I imagine one of them walking into a fission plant and accidentally MD'ing it, or while preparing accidentally setting off any acquired weapons.), or will die miserably when they realize what they would classify as a pre-warp civilization actually has more combat experience (or is simply smarter than they are) during an ambush, or a simple firefight.

2. Assuming they fight immediately after they get their equipment: Jar-jar, Neelix wouldn't know what a grenade did even if one blew up in front of him. Assuming they need to get their equipment and then find the place for the battle: I'd have to say Jar-jar again, since he's less likely to kill himself from sheer stupidity.

3. Voyager, if the never land the flyer. If they do make it land during the battle, Jar-jar, since Federation shuttles are so clumsy when taking off I'm sure the gungan catapults could give it a good pounding. Although, I would like to know the ability of the theater shield to absorb energy, since it would be a great help in determining whether or not the flyer could actually do shit.

PS: Yes, I hate Neelix. He's more annoying than Wesley Crusher.
PPS: On that note, IIRC, Neelix is quite the pacifist later on...

[Rossum]

Personally, I think the gungan theater shield would be able to repel federation shuttle phaser fire and their personal shields would deflect personal phaser fire. Phasers seem to work more by reacting with the matter they hit than actually delivering energy into the target while star wars blasters are direct energy.

Thus:

Harry Kim: Our phasers aren't making it past their shields... its like they were designed protect against a powerful direct energy attack as opposed to frequency based matter disruption.

Torres: It like... *checks her tricorder for technobabble-to-bad-analogy translation* Its like they have armor used to deflect machine gun fire while we're running around with poisoned arrows.

Neelix: Hmm... that reminds me of a story where a primitive army defeated a technologically advanced one with poisoned arrows because the enemy didn't expect that. Quick, everyone set their phasers to overload and use them as primitive grenades and crowd around the shield while Chekco.. Checo... while that guy who keeps crashing the shuttles crashes one of them into that big impervious shield thing.

Torres: What? If he crashes the shuttle the antimatter reactor might explode... if the shield holds then we all get killed, if it doesn't then everyone gets killed. Plus they have that anti-aircraft thing.

Neelix: That's high-tech thinking, we need low-tech solutions! Use your phaser rifles as clubs!

[lord Martiya]

Neelix: That's high-tech thinking, we need low-tech solutions! Use your phaser rifles as clubs!

That one may have some effect, depending on how many Gungans will be too busy laughing at the Feds to fight them.

[Gemini-Preserver]

If the Feds listen to Mr so called survival expert Neelix they will all be wiped out anyway.

[ifly6]

The Voyager Crew is COMPLETELY INCOMPETENT!!!!!!!! If they went to war, the only thing which they could do is stand around and shoot (randomly). While Gungans came and just used catapults to bomb the hell out of Voyager's crew (which by the way is COMPLETELY INCOMPETENT!!!!!!!!) [1] Neelix would be running around saying "Survival Expert" in a loud voice and have a phaser which would disintegrate the tree 23,245,697 miles away, which would hit him because some idiot thought that they were " SUPPOSED to transport the tree on top of Neelix [2]. And if they went on all out war, Voyager would win because of one reason... ...The Gungans would be ROFLing all over the ground because Voyager was using the Delta Flyer as a club (that nobody could pick up...) and shooting their own members (MARQUIS MUTINY!!!! -Janeway) [3].