ISDs loose in the UFP, but with an evil, silly twist. :-D

Post by **Steve** » 2002-08-01 02:27am

Warning: This thread is intended to be silly, it is not a "real" debate. I figured it'd go in this forum, but oh what the hell....

There are eight ISDs loose in the UFP, each with a fully-automated droid crew that is completely loyal to the commander, and each with it's own hidden resupply base kept supplied by, I dunno, some token nigh-omnipotent being (a la Q) that is desiring some chuckles.

The commanders are:

Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor (Home Improvement)
Zim (Invader Zim)
Gir (Invader Zim)
Tak (Invader Zim)
Dib (Invader Zim)
Jay and Silent Bob (View Askew movies by Kevin Smith, post-"Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back")
Burt Gummer (Tremors movies)
Dexter (Dexter's Lab)

So, let your imaginations work, and concentrate on the unbridled chaos, which has to at least rival the fun given by the thought of the conventional Empire stomping the UFP.

BTW, to those poor unfortunate souls unfamiliar with the hilarious glory that is Invader Zim, pm me if you wish to learn more.

(Must remind self, no more late night thread postings, oh well, I guess I can at least test the sense of humor here and see how it compares to other forums...)

Crown · Post by **Crown** » 2002-08-01 02:37am

Well I don't know anything about Invader Zim, but Tim 'the tool man' Taylor, would be more of a threat to his own 'crew' than the UFP!!!

Jay and Silent Bob, would just try and sell the UFP weed, and attack anyone who doesn't like The Time

TheDarkling · Post by **TheDarkling** » 2002-08-01 02:37am

An ISD isnt heavy armed enough for Burt he would have to strap some extra fire power onto his ship for when he comes across space fairing Graboids.

Dexter well his sister would probably destroy his ISD.

Tim Taylor would overload the reactor because he tried to turo charge the hyperdrive.

Im not sure what Jay and silent Bob would do but im sure it would involve crazy antics.

I havent watched Invader Zim so I cant coment no the others.

Gil Hamilton · Post by **Gil Hamilton** » 2002-08-01 02:43am

I think I responded to this topic on SB under the assumption they were all on the same Stardestroyer.

Jay: "Look at this fucking place, lunchbox? Holy shit, we are gonna get all the pussy when we roll up to planets in this thing! Man, thinking of all that alien pink... err... green... whatever out there is giving me blue balls, yo."
Tim: "Hey guys! I found the instructional manual on this bad boy! I think I can soup up the engine to run at 1 billion time the speed of light HO HO HO!"
Jay: "No way, fucko, I've seen "Tool Time". You've gots to that that tubby fuck, uh what's his name, Cal or else."
Dexter: "Excuse me gentlemen..."
Jay: "What do you want, little man?"
Dexter: "I believe I can assist Mr. Taylor in the modification of this vehicle. With my genius and his brute strength, I believe we can rig their standard Mark V Kuat Ship Yards Hyperspace Traversing Unit to be able to cross the galaxy in a millisecond!"
Jay: "You can do that, bro?"
Tim: "Him???"
Dexter: "As you would say; 'Yeah, dude'"
Jay: "Holy fucking shit, Silent Bob! If we get our ride moving that fast, we can be the chronic connection of the whole fucking galaxy! We are going to get paid and laid, my brother!"
*blasts randomly fly everywhere outside in space*
Jay: "Damn it! Tell those two alien fucks to stop playing with the guns again, lunchbox... I'm going back to my pad to see if I can get the droid servant in there to jerk me off until we pull up to some place with fine looking bitches, snoogans."

Crown · Post by **Crown** » 2002-08-01 02:45am

Soogans!!!!

Crown · Post by **Crown** » 2002-08-01 02:46am

Of course I meant Snoogans

Singular Quartet · Post by **Singular Quartet** » 2002-08-01 02:51am

I haven't watched Invader Zim, namely because I don't have cable

Burt would go around and BDZ any planet with anything remotly like a Sandworm on it.

Tim would blow out at least three Hyperdrives, trying to install a turbodrive. He then procedes to try and find out what each button on the bridge does...

Jay would put the ISD into orbit around Earth, and... "request"... more dope. Due to Jay's odd vocabulary, and the fact that the Feds are a bunch of tightasses, The Imperial Star Destroyer Tittie proceeds to nuke France and San Fransico, before Hitting Quark's for top quality booze, without none of that Synthahol shit. Silent Bob wonders where his lightsaber is.

Dede blows it up.

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2002-08-01 03:44am

[hijack]

What the hell is Invader Zim?

[/hijack]

Singular Quartet · Post by **Singular Quartet** » 2002-08-01 04:12am

Spanky The Dolphin wrote:[hijack]

What the hell is Invader Zim?

[/hijack]

First off, you're not hijacking the thread. Secondly, Invader Zim was a Kids show done by the creater of his semi-more well-known JTHM. As a tangent from this, he also did Squee's Big Giant Book of Unspeakable Horrors, Filler Bunny Fills fifteen pages, and I Feel Sick. None of these, however, would ever make it past the censor's for HBO, let alone Nickalodean.

What the actual show is about, I haven't a fucking clue.

Enforcer Talen · Post by **Enforcer Talen** » 2002-08-01 10:13am

it's a hilarious show. little green alien arrives on earth, messes about trying to conquer it. the writer has such a low view of humanity, similar to i feel sick, and prolly jthm, tho I haven't read that one yet. . .

and zim would so win. he would go to each capital of each empire, and demand their subservience. if they didn;t give it to him, he'd blow up a continent.

ever see his first episode? heheheh. . .

-zim's in some major robot- open fire! open fire! bhahahahaha!
-nother green alien- but sir! we haven't left our city yet!
-zim launches rockets, lasers. the city burns-

Invader ZIm · Post by **Invader ZIm** » 2002-08-01 10:52am

As much as I would like to expound on the Irken prowess in combat, I'm afraid the mission of this ISD is DOOMED!

Regaurdless of the competence of the other crew members, GIR will screw it up. This is the robot after all when undergoing trails for his "advanced navigation system" removed it so he could store a cupcake. This is the robot that dumped half the fuel in his jet pack with Tunafish. This is the robot that looses all self control for Tacos!

And worst of all this is robot that gooves on techno and break dancing!

Pah! The mission is Doomed, DOOMED I TELL YOU!

Now give me one Irken Voot-runner, A Doomgiver, enough snacks and chalk and I will grind these Federation Dogs into the ground!

VICTORY! VICTROY FOR ZIM!

Post by **weemadando** » 2002-08-01 12:32pm

You forgot some excellent captains:

The crew of the Bebop (Cowboy Bebop)
Riff and Torg (sluggy freelance)

Post by **weemadando** » 2002-08-01 12:40pm

Oh I forgot one... Guybrush Threepwood.

Isolder74 · Post by **Isolder74** » 2002-08-01 12:44pm

weemadando wrote:Oh I forgot one... Guybrush Threepwood.

What someone who will insult the Federation captains in Rhyme?

That is just before he fires

Post by **Steve** » 2002-08-01 01:39pm

Invader ZIm wrote:As much as I would like to expound on the Irken prowess in combat, I'm afraid the mission of this ISD is DOOMED!

Regaurdless of the competence of the other crew members, GIR will screw it up. This is the robot after all when undergoing trails for his "advanced navigation system" removed it so he could store a cupcake. This is the robot that dumped half the fuel in his jet pack with Tunafish. This is the robot that looses all self control for Tacos!

And worst of all this is robot that gooves on techno and break dancing!

Pah! The mission is Doomed, DOOMED I TELL YOU!

Now give me one Irken Voot-runner, A Doomgiver, enough snacks and chalk and I will grind these Federation Dogs into the ground!

VICTORY! VICTROY FOR ZIM!

Ah, but Gir has his own ISD, as does Tak (I'm sure you saw that episode).

Zim's only problem will be Dib.

consequences · Post by **consequences** » 2002-08-01 07:29pm

Why stop at riff and torg, give bun-bun a star dstroyer, and watch all the telemarketers in the galaxy burn.
What the @#$% is a bun-bun you ask? Go to www.sluggy.com and check it out.

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2002-08-01 09:23pm

Dexter's ISD would be fine, as long as his sister doesn't get to it.

Moonstone Spider · Post by **Moonstone Spider** » 2002-08-01 09:31pm

Riff and Torg have already visited the Star Trek Universe. They vitally insulted Worf, were assimilated by the Borg (Who promptly were overloaded with the urge to have endless beer bashes and had to kick them out before the drunken borg were overrun) and finally wound up capturing Aylee who killed everybody else on the ship before they went home.

Interesting thought, this is canon in the Sluggy Universe and obviously not Canon in Trek. I shall post a thread on this idea at once.

Anyway, ever since Fire and Rain Riff and Torg have become increasingly superheroic and are no longer as party-crazed as normal. They'll be going around looking for girls (assuming theirs aren't around, Oasis could probably take out the Whole Federation by herself), games (They might be dumb enough to install holodecks on the ISD) and beer until the alien of the week shows up, then they'll crush it flat. The Federation need no longer fear the Borg, Tholians, Dominion, or *snerk* Kazon. Riff and Torg are here!

Bun-Bun would BDZ the North Pole to kill Santa. Since this would raise the ocean levels and Starfleet would complain about him destroying San Francisco in a Tidal Wave, he'd then BDZ the rest of Earth to get them to shut up. He'd then force some alien races and slave humans to produce Baywatch shows for him to watch endlessly, on threat of their planet being BDZed if he is not pleased by them.

Who knows what the Bebop crew would do. They would probably be collecting a lot more bounties, I doubt most forces are going to tell them they can't have the money when the ISD shows up in orbit.

Tim would likely blow his ship up or at least make the Q supplying him go insane needing new parts every three hours.

I've never seen Invader Zim.

Dexter would rebuild the ISD so it could transform into a giant robot.

Burt would find the firepower not enough and travel through space seeking the most powerful races in existence hoping to upgrade his ISD. He'd also wipe out anything he considered a threat, which happens to include big brother government. Say goodbye to the UFP.