Chewie is Cooking with AWESOME! (new recipe, page 2)

AMP: sci-fi art, regular art, pictures, photos, comics, music, etc.

Moderator: Beowulf

User avatar
CaptainChewbacca
Browncoat Wookiee
Posts: 15746
Joined: 2003-05-06 02:36am
Location: Deep beneath Boatmurdered.

Chewie is Cooking with AWESOME! (new recipe, page 2)

Post by CaptainChewbacca »

Join me, won't you, as I embark on a glorious mission towards the greatest, manliest confection ever conceived.

Tonight was part 1: Candying the Bacon. You heard me. First, you need a few ingredients:

Image

Bacon, and brown sugar. Next you preheat the oven to 400 farenheit (200 celsius).

Image

Then, you lay out your bacon on a pan covered in tinfoil, like so;

Image

And you cover it with brown sugar.

Image

Image

Then, while you're waiting for the oven to get hot, you take pictures of your Star Wars action figures:

Image
(Battle of Hoth, not to scale)

Then, you put the bacon in the oven. Sorry this picture came out blurry.

Image

Then, you let it cook for six minutes, which is enough time to have dinner. I recommend Lean Cuisine deluxe pizza. Its delicious, and $1.80.

Image

After six minutes, open the oven and check your bacon. It should be curling and crisping QUITE nicely.

Image

So, turn the bacon over, and spoon some more sugar over the other side.

Image

Put it back in for another six minutes, and when the time is up, check it out. It should be shiny and golden, and just starting to turn dark.

Image

CAREFULLY take it out of the oven, and put the pieces of bacon on a rack to cool. Be sure to put something UNDER the rack, otherwise you're going to make a mess. Also, keep in mind that molten sugar WILL blister your skin if you're a dumbass.

First piece, delectably golden:
Image

Three pieces!

Image

Once you get them all on the rack, get a spoon and carefully spread any melted sugar from the pan onto the bacon. Just remember not to burn yourself.

Image

When that's done, let the bacon sit and cool, it takes a while. After about 10 minutes, move the bacon around to make sure it won't crystallize to the rack. Let it sit until firm and crisp. Takes a few hours.

Image

Now you have candied bacon, which is the critical, magic-making component in BACON FUDGE. Stay tuned until tomorrow, when I dare try that which was deemed IMPOSSIBLE! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

*To be continued...*
Last edited by CaptainChewbacca on 2008-08-29 12:30am, edited 2 times in total.
Stuart: The only problem is, I'm losing track of which universe I'm in.
You kinda look like Jesus. With a lightsaber.- Peregrin Toker
ImageImage
User avatar
TimothyC
Of Sector 2814
Posts: 3776
Joined: 2005-03-23 05:31pm

Post by TimothyC »

Why would you do such a thing?
"I believe in the future. It is wonderful because it stands on what has been achieved." - Sergei Korolev
User avatar
Czechmate
Jedi Knight
Posts: 656
Joined: 2008-08-11 08:59am
Location: das volkische republik von canadische
Contact:

Post by Czechmate »

this is alchemy of a kind kept secret for millenia. he will be expelled from the order for this! :P

PS: awesome. i'm trying this tomorrow.
tiny friendly crab.
User avatar
FedRebel
Jedi Master
Posts: 1071
Joined: 2004-10-12 12:38am

Post by FedRebel »

MariusRoi wrote:Why would you do such a thing?
My guess is, to experience diabetic shock and cardiac arrest simultaneously
User avatar
CaptainChewbacca
Browncoat Wookiee
Posts: 15746
Joined: 2003-05-06 02:36am
Location: Deep beneath Boatmurdered.

Post by CaptainChewbacca »

MariusRoi wrote:Why would you do such a thing?
Because, as far as I can tell, nobody has ever developed a recipe for 'bacon fudge', and that's a crying shame.
Stuart: The only problem is, I'm losing track of which universe I'm in.
You kinda look like Jesus. With a lightsaber.- Peregrin Toker
ImageImage
JointStrikeFighter
Worthless Trolling Palm-Fucker
Posts: 1979
Joined: 2004-06-12 03:09am
Location: Brisbane, Australia

Post by JointStrikeFighter »

This is why americans are fat.
User avatar
Shinn Langley Soryu
Jedi Council Member
Posts: 1517
Joined: 2006-08-18 11:27pm
Location: COOBIE YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS

Post by Shinn Langley Soryu »

Bacon fudge, you say? Well, I am most definitely intrigued by this. Do continue with this endeavour, and prove those nay-sayers wrong.
I ship Eino Ilmari Juutilainen x Lydia V. Litvyak.

Image
ImageImageImage
Phantasee: Don't be a dick.
Stofsk: What are you, his mother?
The Yosemite Bear: Obviously, which means that he's grounded, and that she needs to go back to sucking Mr. Coffee's cock.

"d-did... did this thread just turn into Thanas/PeZook slash fiction?" - Ilya Muromets[/size]
Buddha
Youngling
Posts: 101
Joined: 2008-02-04 07:17pm
Location: Nara, Japan

Post by Buddha »

This looks to be diabetes and heart disease in one convenient and easy to carry package. Now you can see why this would be unhealthy and soon, very nasty fat and sugar encrusted orgy. I hope you enjoy your pig flesh and sugar product. Let us know how bad the fallout will be.
Image
User avatar
Mr. Coffee
is an asshole.
Posts: 3258
Joined: 2005-02-26 07:45am
Location: And banging your mom is half the battle... G.I. Joe!

Post by Mr. Coffee »

This is almost as manly as chocolate covered venison jerky. Anyone who doesn't agree is a filthy heathen ass, jihad supporting, bright pink communist.

See, something like this would be a HOLY FUCKING SHIT AWESOME part of a big family dinner ham. or just a completely unhealthy but amzingly tasty snack. Or for teasing diabetics.... Either way, nice...
Image
Goddammit, now I'm forced to say in public that I agree with Mr. Coffee. - Mike Wong
I never would have thought I would wholeheartedly agree with Coffee... - fgalkin x2
Honestly, this board is so fucking stupid at times. - Thanas
GALE ForceCarwash: Oh, I'll wax that shit, bitch...
User avatar
Zablorg
Jedi Council Member
Posts: 1864
Joined: 2007-09-27 05:16am

Post by Zablorg »

Mr. Coffee wrote: See, something like this would be a HOLY FUCKING SHIT AWESOME part of a big family dinner ham. or just a completely unhealthy but amzingly tasty snack. Or for teasing diabetics.... Either way, nice...
But would the ham be candy-ham all the way through?

Anyway, I'm gonna try this over the weekend.
Jupiter Oak Evolution!
User avatar
The Grim Squeaker
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 10290
Joined: 2005-06-01 01:44am
Location: A different time-space Continuum
Contact:

Post by The Grim Squeaker »

That looks... delicious. But also very fattening.
eyes salad based sandwich mournfully
Photography
Genius is always allowed some leeway, once the hammer has been pried from its hands and the blood has been cleaned up.
To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often.
Crazedwraith
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 10966
Joined: 2003-04-10 03:45pm
Location: Cheshire, England

Post by Crazedwraith »

So where's this desert? I'm not seeing an arid windswept environment here. I'm seeing sugar covered bacon, dessert.

I was expecting landscape modeling on an epic bacon based scale here, Chewie. You disappoint me.

Edit: Nitpickery aside... Is that Diet Dr. Pepper I spy in the first picture? Quite the juxtaposition. Plus an abomination.
Last edited by Crazedwraith on 2008-08-27 07:31am, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
Ford Prefect
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 8254
Joined: 2005-05-16 04:08am
Location: The real number domain

Post by Ford Prefect »

Your ambitions are truly sky high, Chewie. :lol:
What is Project Zohar?

Here's to a certain mostly harmless nutcase.
User avatar
Vehrec
Jedi Council Member
Posts: 2204
Joined: 2006-04-22 12:29pm
Location: The Ohio State University
Contact:

Post by Vehrec »

CaptainChewbacca wrote:
MariusRoi wrote:Why would you do such a thing?
Because, as far as I can tell, nobody has ever developed a recipe for 'bacon fudge', and that's a crying shame.
Iron Chef Micheal Symon of Cleveland once took strips of Bacon and coated them in chocolate, then covered them with almonds. Despite his creepy manaical laugh, the man can do AMAZING things. One trip to his restraunt blew my mind.

See this clip, about four minutesin.
ImageCommander of the MFS Darwinian Selection Method (sexual)
User avatar
RIPP_n_WIPE
Jedi Knight
Posts: 711
Joined: 2007-01-26 09:04am
Location: with coco

Post by RIPP_n_WIPE »

You FOOL!! You've let them know the secrets of the arts!!! The order will fall!! What have you done?!?!?

I am the hammer, I am the right hand of my Lord. The instrument of His will and the gauntlet about His fist. The tip of His spear, the edge of His sword. I am His wrath just as he is my shield. I am the bane of His foes and the woe of the treacherous. I am the end.


-Ravus Ordo Militis

"Fear and ignorance claim the unwary and the incomplete. The wise man may flinch away from their embrace if he girds his soul with the armour of contempt."
User avatar
tim31
Sith Devotee
Posts: 3388
Joined: 2006-10-18 03:32am
Location: Tasmania, Australia

Post by tim31 »

You're a bachelor, right Chewie? :lol:

Some friends of mine once baked chicken cake. It was just a sponge cake with chunks of roasted chicken spread through it, but points for effort.
lol, opsec doesn't apply to fanfiction. -Aaron

PRFYNAFBTFC
CAPTAIN OF MFS SAMMY HAGAR
ImageImage
User avatar
CaptainChewbacca
Browncoat Wookiee
Posts: 15746
Joined: 2003-05-06 02:36am
Location: Deep beneath Boatmurdered.

Post by CaptainChewbacca »

Crazedwraith wrote:So where's this desert? I'm not seeing an arid windswept environment here. I'm seeing sugar covered bacon, dessert.

I was expecting landscape modeling on an epic bacon based scale here, Chewie. You disappoint me.

Edit: Nitpickery aside... Is that Diet Dr. Pepper I spy in the first picture? Quite the juxtaposition. Plus an abomination.
Diet Dr. Pepper was on sale in the 24-pack. I know its weird, but my momma got me on diet sodas, and now that's really the only kind I drink.

You know, I'm a little surprised that nobody noticed the Miller Lite bucket. It lives on the stove.
Stuart: The only problem is, I'm losing track of which universe I'm in.
You kinda look like Jesus. With a lightsaber.- Peregrin Toker
ImageImage
User avatar
loomer
Sith Marauder
Posts: 4087
Joined: 2005-11-20 07:57am

Post by loomer »

You're a goddamn witch and we should burn you at the stake.

Fortunately the brain tumor from the aspartamane in the diet Dr. Pepper will kill you before you invent carbonated bacon or baconated grapefruit.
"Doctors keep their scalpels and other instruments handy, for emergencies. Keep your philosophy ready too—ready to understand heaven and earth. In everything you do, even the smallest thing, remember the chain that links them. Nothing earthly succeeds by ignoring heaven, nothing heavenly by ignoring the earth." M.A.A.A
User avatar
Kodiak
Jedi Master
Posts: 1400
Joined: 2005-07-08 02:19pm
Location: The City in the Country

Post by Kodiak »

CaptainChewbacca wrote: Because, as far as I can tell, nobody has ever developed a recipe for 'bacon fudge', and that's a crying shame.
Maybe they did, but had a heart attack on the way to the publisher? It seems like food to speed up your heart and slow it down at the same time may have a positive net effect, much like truck drivers taking stimulants to stay awake and downers to keep 'em from getting too jittery. If the world ends tomorrow, we'll know why. :lol:
Image PRFYNAFBTFCP
Captain of the MFS Frigate of Pizazz +2 vs. Douchebags - Est vicis pro nonnullus suscito vir

"Are you an idiot? What demand do you think there is for aircraft carriers that aren't government?" - Captain Chewbacca

"I keep my eighteen wives in wonderfully appointed villas by bringing the underwear of god to the heathens. They will come to know God through well protected goodies." - Gandalf

"There is no such thing as being too righteous to understand." - Darth Wong
Kanastrous
Sith Acolyte
Posts: 6464
Joined: 2007-09-14 11:46pm
Location: SoCal

Post by Kanastrous »

Image

I picked up one of these a couple weeks ago, mostly out of curiosity.

They're actually very good. Bacony desserts are a concept whose time has come.

Cap'n Chewie's instincts are sound.

Go Chewie!
I find myself endlessly fascinated by your career - Stark, in a fit of Nerd-Validation, November 3, 2011
User avatar
Isolder74
Official SD.Net Ace of Cakes
Posts: 6743
Joined: 2002-07-10 01:16am
Location: Weber State of Construction University
Contact:

Post by Isolder74 »

Iron Chef America has you beat.


Bacon Ice Cream........ :?
Hapan Battle Dragons Rule!
When you want peace prepare for war! --Confusious
That was disapointing ..Should we show this Federation how to build a ship so we may have worthy foes? Typhonis 1
The Prince of The Writer's Guild|HAB Spacewolf Tank General| God Bless America!
User avatar
CaptainChewbacca
Browncoat Wookiee
Posts: 15746
Joined: 2003-05-06 02:36am
Location: Deep beneath Boatmurdered.

Post by CaptainChewbacca »

Isolder74 wrote:Iron Chef America has you beat.


Bacon Ice Cream........ :?
Yes, many recipes for bacon ice cream exist. I've found ZERO information for competent bacon fudge. Sure, some people just stick cooked bacon in a pan and pour fudge on it, but I aspire to something a bit greater.
Stuart: The only problem is, I'm losing track of which universe I'm in.
You kinda look like Jesus. With a lightsaber.- Peregrin Toker
ImageImage
User avatar
Darth Wong
Sith Lord
Sith Lord
Posts: 70028
Joined: 2002-07-03 12:25am
Location: Toronto, Canada
Contact:

Post by Darth Wong »

That's fucking disgusting. I've lost my appetite just looking at the pictures.
Image
"It's not evil for God to do it. Or for someone to do it at God's command."- Jonathan Boyd on baby-killing

"you guys are fascinated with the use of those "rules of logic" to the extent that you don't really want to discussus anything."- GC

"I do not believe Russian Roulette is a stupid act" - Embracer of Darkness

"Viagra commercials appear to save lives" - tharkûn on US health care.

http://www.stardestroyer.net/Mike/RantMode/Blurbs.html
User avatar
CaptainChewbacca
Browncoat Wookiee
Posts: 15746
Joined: 2003-05-06 02:36am
Location: Deep beneath Boatmurdered.

Post by CaptainChewbacca »

Darth Wong wrote:That's fucking disgusting. I've lost my appetite just looking at the pictures.
I thought you canadians loved sugar on pork products :?: Its bacon with brown sugar, not a fish head covered in hollandaise.
Stuart: The only problem is, I'm losing track of which universe I'm in.
You kinda look like Jesus. With a lightsaber.- Peregrin Toker
ImageImage
User avatar
andrewgpaul
Jedi Council Member
Posts: 2270
Joined: 2002-12-30 08:04pm
Location: Glasgow, Scotland

Post by andrewgpaul »

It doesn't look that bad; not like those monstrous cheeseburgers people start threads about sometimes, with the congealed cheese spillingout of the roll.

I quite like lamb chops with mustard and brown sugar, so I'm not instantly repelled.
"So you want to live on a planet?"
"No. I think I'd find it a bit small and wierd."
"Aren't they dangerous? Don't they get hit by stuff?"
Post Reply